Thursday, December 17, 2009

Shhh,it's a secret!

So,get this,Christmas is almost here!
Wahooo.Surprisingly,I'm not sad about it anymore.
I was complaining about how being lonely
on Christmas sucks...
But I'm not lonely!I may be single,
but I've got Jesus.. And the most amazing friends and
family a person could ask for.
I don't want anything for Christmas.
There was one thing,but lets just say...
it can't be bought. But it's all good.
I haven't done any Christmas shopping.
I've decided to make gifts for everyone.
I'm cheesy,I know. But I'm writing a story
about how my parents fell in love,
and I wrote two songs to go along with it.
I'm pretty excited to get that all finished.
I don't know what to do for my best friend,
after all that's happened..... I don't know
what would be appropriate.. to get him.
His cousin told me he's doing something for
me... but I hope he doesn't.
Cause I have no idea what I'm gonna get him.

So anyways!Back to square one.
I've got dress rehearsal tonight
for the Christmas cantata. Wooty woot.
I'm actually not excited at all.
I know all the songs,and jazz...
I'm real tired and not feeling
well but I'm gonna go anyways.
After all,the performance is Saturday
and Sunday.

I've pulled my ol' guitar outta the closet,
and am trying lessons again. Shea is trying
to teach me... but so far the only chord
I've mastered is "Em",I still feel like a beast
accomplishing one chord,so I've been
playing that one chord all day and
probably driving people insane.

I should probably get to work on my
new years resolutions and all that,I just realized it's getting close.
Really close... Hm.2009 was pretty fine,
but I'm ready to move on. It wasn't the best. I hate
that I can't beat how good 2007 was.
Dreaming of those past days. They were surely good.
2010 has got to rock out loud. I won't let it be anything
but the best,no doubt.

"It makes more sense to believe in God than to not believe. If you believe, and God exists, you will be rewarded in the afterlife. If you do not believe, and He exists, you will be punished for your disbelief. If He does not exist, you have lost nothing either way. "

I absolutely love that!Pascal's Wager....

God is worth it all,no doubt and I belong to Him... Even through this crazy life that sometimes doesn't make sense. Okay,that never makes sense. I don't always get what I want but in the end everything will work out for me. Good to know.

Well anyways,I've gotta get ready for rehearsal,so I guess that's all for now.

Oh,by the way my birthday is Wednesday.

-Ms. Conduit

Friday, December 11, 2009

Your heart is God's most beautiful work of art...

Wow,life is weird. How am I ever to understand it? Gah,I need an adventure. I have a lot going on,but none of it is really an adventure. Whatever will I do? I really want to move,far from here. God's been telling me something about Arkansas,but I don't know what. All I've known to do is pray over Arkansas,cause apparently something is going on. Maybe he needs me to go there this summer. I know I don't have the money for that,but if He wants me there He'll get me there. So yeah,I'm praying over Arkansas even though I know absolutely nothing about it.

I greatly miss some of the past,but for some reason things just won't be the way they used to. I guess I just gotta move forward. I'm just tired. Tired of being tired,and tired of being here in Bolivar.

Our mission trip this year is probably going to be in Tennessee,so I'm thinking that will be interesting. It's not for sure yet,but we're having one this year. I wish it would be in Arkansas,cause I still can't get that off of my mind.

I haven't ate anything today,I don't think my stomach can handle it. I think coffee is about all I can consume at the time. I feel like crap.


But you know what's funny?I'm doing completely awesome!Tonight I'm picking up Jared and we're going to my church for the overnight Christmas movie thing. Jared hasn't ever been to my church,and such so it should be fun!I'm curious as to who all will be there,but I guess I'll find out soon enough. I should probably get a nap before so I can be hyper,but I'll just take coffee with me and make sure to have lots of it. These overnight things always suck the life right out of me. I feel like I'm getting old.

That is all.

-Ms.Conduit

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Run with me,to Destiny Islands...

I'm having a lack of things to say lately.
But I do need to use blogger more.

So,once more,I let myself down again.
Trying to trust myself instead of God.
Blasted!What is my problem?

Well,I'm going to get it right this time anyways.

So you know something?
People are complete idiots.
All of us.
And we never learn.


If you always do what you've always done,
you'll always get what you've always gotten.


We walk into the same thing we've always done,
knowing it didn't work the first time.
Why do we think it'll be different a second time around?
Like I said,we're idiots.

But God is not. I'm letting Him do what take control now.
Because I have no idea what to do.

So,Cody wants me to sit with him tonight. I guess I'll do so.
He's a nice kid. He even offered to take me to
mcdonalds before church. Haha!I like food,I'm down.

I'm not gonna understand love anytime soon <3

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I wanna write my name on an ocean wave,so that no matter what I'm not alone.

Don't you hate it,when you're typing a super long message to someone,
and as soon as you get ready to send it "This person has gone offline."
Thanks Ted.
Well anyways,I love fall. I was thinking of the cool crisp weather today,
and the tree's with falling leaves. I so badly wanted to go on a walk.
I still haven't got the chance,because I had choir practice.
And of course,now it's 9:30 at night.
So I guess it can wait till tomorrow.
As for choir practice,I really dreaded going.
Now that Laura has quit I haven't had anyone to talk to.
But today,it was different. It was awesome!
The past two weeks were horrible,
but it was fantastic today.
First we practiced the songs for Sunday morning church blah blah.
Then guess who walked into the room?
Yes,him. Although he was late!
So then we went up to practice the songs for the Christmas thing,
and we were practicing this song..
that goes "joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy" and sounds like a broken record.
It's lovely. That's an understatement.
Melissa and I were being quite ridiculous.
We sang it really low to be funny and sound like men,
then we just wouldn't stop.
He laughed.
He didn't say a word to me though.
But I was myself tonight,which was incredible.
I haven't felt free to be me in a while,
but tonight was great practice at that.
Tomorrow I've got a lot of cleaning to do,
Thanksgiving is almost here and the house is a wreck.
He still hasn't given word if he's coming for Thanksgiving or not.
Ho-hum.
I'll be cleaning all day,and then I'll go for a walk later in the afternoon hopefully.
Saturday is the fall craft show at the church.
I'm going I think,or if not that Kayla's baby shower.
I don't really like baby showers to be honest.
It's a bunch of boring games,and ladies.
I don't get along with ladies well.
I'd rather go play frisbee or something.
Hah.
So yeah...I need to make this seem interesting.
What to say?

I didn't care about him tonight,
I didn't give him any thought.
I usually try to sneak peeks at him,
or I feel embarrassed about everything.
Tonight,I didn't care.
I'm being me,I'm being open,I am captivating.
I just need to show it.

:D


I'm the letters you don't get,
and the light inside your room,
just bright enough for you to see,
me forgetting about you.-Jimmy Robbins


-Christina Conduit

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

It's time for a makeover.

I feel as though all I do is try to improve myself.New hair,new makeup,new diet.
Does it ever work?I still feel the same.Humans are impossible to please.
I'll never be skinny enough,pretty enough,or good enough for them it seems.
People expect perfection; perfection is my enemy.
And on my own,I'm so clumsy; But on His shoulders I can see...
I'm free to be me.
Jesus will always love me,even if I'm not good enough for them.
I wish I could show them that there's more to a person than looks.
There's so much more.
I'm gonna wreck up the life I have now,and make it something pleasing to God.
Throw away everything that's holding me back.
Give it all away for Him.Why does it matter anyways?
Things of this earth don't last forever.
I'm remaking my looks once more,because it is a fact I do need to get in shape.
I'm not overweight,and I'm not fat.
But I have been eating way too much. I need to work out and cut back.
I want to be healthy.
I'm going to pick a day,and have it a spa day for me.
Use all those facial cleansers,and doo-hickeys that I have in my bathroom closet.
Maybe that foot massager.
I don't know.
But I'm going to do it.
I'm going to throw away all those perfection magazines.
They say I have to be "this" to be wanted or loved.
When I'm "that". I'm perfectly fine being "that".
I'm going to get rid of all the things from my past I've been holding onto.
Throw it all away.
I'm going to be patient,be understanding,be caring,
I'm going to be Christ-like.
It won't happen overnight,oh no.
But any step being closer to my savior is oh so worth it.
Oh how He loves me so.
He loves me so much,he doesn't want to leave me like this.
Torn apart,confused,bitter,basically a nervous wreck.
Oh,how I keep it together so good,at church.
Working in the kids class,they all love me and say I help so much.
I'm just tired. I hide behind busyness.
I need a break,to find who I am.
Where I am,what I'm meant to be..
So much more than this.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Can you say farkle?

So today,I came into my room to find my mom on my computer playing "farkle". Yes; that addicting dice game. This is common,cause I sometimes come in my room to find her on facebook.Well anyways,I headed to get a shower..than as I was getting dressed afterwards I heard laughter coming from my room.My mother yelled for me to come see what was so funny.I ran to my room,dripping water everywhere,and leaned over her shoulder to look at the computer.She was playing farkle against someone,and there's that little chat box.The guy asked her if she wanted to meet and fool around.He was married.I told her to ask him where his wife was.He replied "At work.So,how about it?".This made us laugh even harder.Then right before the game was over he asked for her email. Needless to say,we exited that farkle game rather quickly. As my mother and I sit there laughing,she looks over at me and says "He wants his dingy donged". Which made me laugh even harder.I swear,some people are such creepers.But it was rather humorous. And in the next farkle game she played,another married guy greets her with.. "Hey pretty girl." I have no idea what this weirdo farkle players see in my mother.


-Christina Conduit.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And isn't it ironic?

I googled my old youth leader,and found his xanga page.He hadn't posted on it since 2005. His most recent post?

"my good friend eric let me know earlier today that my fly was down, and i was very greatful b/c i was going commando at the time. he's a good friend, but it were him, i probably wouldn't have said anything...you know, just to mix things up"

Good to know youth leaders have the right to go without underwear.
And it's even better to know they wouldn't tell their friends that their zipper was down and save them some embarrassment.
I always thought youth leaders were close to perfect,
boy was I wrong.

-Christina Conduit.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I've been having these thoughts lately,like is any of this for real,or not?

I just realized that my blogger has been slowly dying away.
Along with everyone elses.
My friends most recent post was 5 weeks ago.
What happened to us bloggers?
Bah life.

So anyhoo,today is Saturday and I'm going to spend the day watching old disney movies. Sounds like my kinda weekend.
Tomorrow I have church,then I'm going with Gloria out to eat,and to help her clean her office.
Fun fun.So yes,then back to church.
And I get to see me some CrackerS woot!
So Monday,I may go to kickin' kountry.
I'm afraid that kid is gonna be there though,
can you say stalker?
xD
Tuesday I'm probably going to Carrollton again if it doesn't rain.
Wednesday,church. As far as I know.
Thursday shopping,choir practice.
Friday-Saturday-Sunday,
encounter,and church.
I gotta sign up for the fall fest.
And I gotta decide what to dress up as :D

Things have been okay. They aren't what I'd like them to be but I'm doing fine.
Guess what today is?My single for three months versery ;)
I was going to take myself out for milkshakes but I'm too lazy.
So I'll stick with the disney movies,
and eat some general t'sos,and take new pictures for myspace.
Yes,that's the way to go.


I'm sorry guys,I'm a nerd.
Speaking of,I can't figure out how to get past Neverland on kingdom hearts.
Even though I've beat the whole game before!
I'm playing them all over again,because I hear the 3rd one comes out in 2011-2012.
And I need to kill time since it's gonna be a few years bahaha.
I really hope the world doesn't end in 2012,
or I may not play kingdom hearts 3 xD
I don't believe all that mumbo jumbo anyways.

So I talked to Ken and Carol about crackerS,
and they were really awesome about it.
We talked about that all day,
and they think it's absolutely adorable.
baha Dx


Dooo dooo dooo...
yeah.
that's all I have to say.


-Christina Conduit.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The sweeter song.

The world plays a love song that steers us away from God's gifts for us in a relationship.We don't realize that there could be something better then the worlds views on love.And some of us know it's wrong,but it's so hard to resist.God has a sweeter song for us,if we let him be the center and guide for our relationships.

As for God,His way is perfect,the word of the Lord is proven;He is a shield to all who trust in Him.Psalm 18:30

How would you describe the beautiful side of love?Patience;waiting for God to bring the one to you,saving yourself for them.Commitment;to work through the problems when you find them and to keep God at the center of the relationship.Time,caring,putting them before yourself.Spending time together with God.Control; to be waiting faithfully.


Thoughts on Psalm 34: God is just so good!If we follow him and seek him,he is so faithful to provide!If we just keep our hope and eyes on him,his promises become true.The best is yet to come.He really cares about us enjoying good things on this earth.He will hear us when we cry out,and be faithful to provide,in HIS time.

Thoughts on Psalm 37: "....And he will give you the desires of your heart.." Trust in God,and do good things!"But those who wait with hope for the Lord,will inherit the land."I think that is so good!And even can relate to our love life's.If we wait patiently for God to provide the one he has for us,rather then trying to do it ourselves...we WILL hear the sweeter song."Because the Lord holds onto his hand."God is there to hold our hand!To help us through when we can't take it anymore.He delights in us,he loves us."But wicked people will disappear." Those who try to destroy us,and bring down our faith will never last.They will not slaughter us,they will not destroy us with words.God is our fortress in troubled times,he helps us and rescues us in times of need!

Thoughts on Psalm 84: We are so desperate for God in these,and all times.We are blessed when we find our strength in him.Better is one day with him,than a thousand elsewhere.He will not hold back any blessings from those who live innocently and faithfully.His favor surrounds us like a shield.Blessed is the person who trusts in him.

I know I want that sweeter song :]

-Christina Conduit.

I'm nothing but a dreamer...

Bahaha!I was looking through some old stuff on my computer,and found this old poem I wrote. It's lame x) you should so read it,it'll change your life.

Untitled by:Christina Marie Shumard duhh!©

Well look at him now she's beat him down,
He turned back to me with a frown.
He said you were right,you knew all along,
I said now honey,how could I be wrong?
I was gonna give him another shot,
But then I thought.
That's not the kinda time I got.
No time for jerks or douchebags,
No time to hear them nag and nag.
I grabbed my shoes,ran out the door,
and made my way to the dance floor.
I lifted my eyes and looked across the room,
and that's when I saw you.
The beat started rockin,
I started poppin' and lockin'.
You came to me and asked me to dance,
I said alright I'll take this chance.
We started moving along to the beat,
you lifted my chin and said try not to look at your feet.
I said now honey,
do you want me to trip and fall and make you look funny?
You laughed with a smile and said it's not that hard,
Just follow my lead and you'll get it for sure.
I did what he said and indeed,
All I really had to do was pick up my feet.
We were moving swiftly across the floor,
I said alright I'm ready,lets add some more.
But then I heard a noise that threw me off beat,
it sounded like a beep beep beep.
I couldn't pinpoint it,figure out what it was,
Then I opened my eyes to see it was my alarm clocks buzz.
I hit the snooze and got ready for the day,
I'm nothing but a dreamer,what more can I say?©


Amazing isn't it?It's so rad!Well anyways,I have church tonight. And the microwave is beeping,with my tv dinner being ready!I will be back,because I'm going to post another blog after this one x)


-Christina Conduit.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Someone loves you,even when you don't think so don't you know,you got me & Jesus.

Dude,I haven't been this tired in my life!I even got 9 hours of sleep last night,but yet I'm still exhausted!So,I went to Revolve this weekend. And to be honest, it wasn't that great. I was expecting something more. It wasn't really the revolve team that made it suck so much,it was more my group I went with. I actually would of rather stayed home. But I did have fun,and I got a book,and saw the funniest thing ever. So I reckon it wasn't a waste of time.

Today I have church and since I'm in choir now...well I guess we're all meeting in the coffee shop. We'll see how this goes.... I'm going to say good morning to him,if I have the nerve. So anyways, I hope I don't pass out during church,that'd be horrible!Then I may be going over to Laura's to eat. He'll be there,that's why I don't think I should go even though I was invited. Then... night church. Then bed. Wooo!


So yeah,I uh.. don't know what else.


-Christina Conduit.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

There's bars on the corners and bars on my heart..

I wrote a whole huge blog and than right before posting it "Oh firefox has crashed,now what are you going to do?" PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. Ugh firefox. Ugh internet, blah! Whatever.

Anyways,I don't even remember what I wrote. I guess it's a second chance,for me to post something useful rather than complaining.

Tonight,bible study @ muggswigz. I'm excited. New people,and they're pimping. Foshizzle. It's gonna be rad.


After all this has passed,I still will remain.After I've cried my last, there will be beauty from pain. Though it won't be today,someday I'll hope again. And there will be beauty from pain.

The balls in your court now kid. You could go for it,or you could quit the game. Are you a coward?Are you just going to give up?The best thing for you,and you're not even around. Why are you so stubborn?It's your choice,win or lose.


I on the other hand,will not be in the game much longer. I'm going to get promoted if you don't pass the ball back soon. Hurry it up bub.


Straws,Yeah. I'm almost out.


God give me patience. Gahhh.


I'm so tired.


-Christina Conduit.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

How many lies...

Have you ever noticed how some people are just complete idiots?
Wow. How stupid. Someone tells someone blasphemy,and they believe it.
Then it affects me. Greeatttt. I'm pretty sure I know who it was too.
It's whatever. God bless them.

Hum. This is rather odd. I mean,why would they say that?Are they that miserable that they have to make everyone else miserable?Blahhh.
I refuse to handle this correctly. I'm just going to ignore it all. Like there's nothing there.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Boredom eats away at my mind..

Dude,I'm insanely bored.
Not just because it's Tuesday,the one day I never do anything,but I'm also sad. And not to mention patiently waiting. And those of you who know me know I'm so not patient. It gets real irritating after a while. But I know,I gotta chillaxe.
So tomorrow,I got church. Which is what I've been waiting for forever. I have to talk to him,and I'm going to ask him what his deal is. Why he sometimes talks and sometimes doesn't. I'm going to tell him if he's trying to not hurt my feelings,he just needs to come right out and say it,then I'll leave him alone for good.
Problem solved. But I don't know what to think.
So Thursday,we got bible study at muggswigz,and there's probably going to be more people there.It's wicked cool. Speaking of,I have to read James 3 still...shucks.
Friday I'm going to see if I can go to the fair,cause it's what I've had in mind... if not Friday,then I'll try for Saturday.Sunday.. church again.

My oh so thrilling week.
Tomorrow is going to confirm everything though. I have to figure out what I'm going to say,memorize it,and say it to a friend before I talk to him. Then tomorrow..I have to walk up to him and say, hello..I need to talk to you. And that will seal my fate...

They say the best things in life come free,I don't believe that. I believe you have to give it all you've got,all your courage and strength. Cause the best things in life,they don't come free.

I'm not sure what to do with the rest of today,I'm super bored. I tried to sleep the day away but I can't sleep anymore.I almost wish I was a cat, then I could sleep all the time.. ugh.I have to talk to him. This is definitely a good patience test. I think God is trying to strengthen my patience,which is why I didn't get to talk to him Sunday night. I still don't know why he didn't show up. Blahhh.

I think I need to do something rather than sit here all day. I'll probably go for a walk or something.It's better than wasting life away waiting for tomorrow. Well yeah...
so that's about it..


-Christina Conduit.

Friday, August 28, 2009

This is one way to scare the devil away,and maybe some unwanted people ;D

So,yesterday on my facebook status,any adventure began. ShaLacey and I made up raps out of boredom,and now I'm going to show you all our rapping skills!

Me :
My rappy,is crappy but I don't care I'm happy,your face looks like squished grapes,word.

ShaLacey : squished grapes squished grapes
rub them on ur scrapes
oh yea.

Me : Oh yeah,oh yeah.
There ain't no party like the holy ghost party cause the holy ghost party don't...

ShaLacey : STOP......say WHAT!!!


Trevor:
"Grrr..... I'm steaming mad.... grrr, yeah....
I'm a gangster, I'm a straight up G,
The gangster life, is the life for me,
Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night,
Being a gangster is hella tight,... Read More
I walk around town, with a stark erection,
Then gave your mom a yeast infection,
I saw the policeman, and punched him in the eye,
To serve and protect, what a lie!?
I also don't like white people, you shouldnt too,
And don't get me started about the Jews,

I'm a gangster, grrrrrr... I'm mad....
I'm a gangster, my ryhmes are bad,
I'm a gangster, I'm iced out like a freezer,
I'm a gangster, I don't listen to Weezer,"

ShaLacey :
we stand on the word
feelin free like a bird
ya heard.

Me: You stink,I think. you need that Jesus in your life,save that yeast for your wife,get in on that holy ghost party,cause that's where you'll feel real hearty. Gotta follow that Jesus read that word,yeah that's what I said,word.


Trevor :lol, that was from a song i quoted xD

ShaLacey : u use word too much lol....ummm my number one man is the King, i dont need any ring....to make me happy cuz imnot feelin crappy.....he died for us without any fuss.....so we could be saved and one day see a road paved....with gold and all the riches will unfold.

Trevor: we agreed that we hated rap now were making rap songs.... im lost


ShaLacey : haha i just made that up out of my head annnd it was bout jesus so i dont hate it


Me : Woohoohoo good one! I don't chase after them boys,all they want is some toys,I'm above there game,from heaven my Jesus reigns,I don't need their lies,no lies from them guys,cause I got that holy ghost,them boys are toast,I got me a spot in the book of life,and where I'm going there'll be no pain or strife.


ShaLacey : AHHHH u got that one grl that was fly


Trevor :*facepalm*

Me: Why thank you,now I'll never have to die,cause I'm so fly,I asked Jesus in my heart,now we can't be apart,he's my main man,he's my homie G,he's got the plan,he's got a future fo me!


Trevor: *double facepalm*


ShaLacey : everyday we go through a test
and we strive to do our best
just livin for our King
makes me wanna sing
praises... Read More
he will lead you through lifes mazes
standing right by your side
nothing can make him run and hide

Me:
There once was a man named David,he had that Jesus who saved him,he wrote poems all them Pslams,and Trevo does way too many facepalms, you need to face it homie,you need Jesus in yo life,cause you're bologna.

ShaLacey : he was ridin on a pony
lookin all bony
needin some bologna
to make him fat
so when he sat... Read More
he would fall flat
on the ground
makin a sound
like BAM
I told u not to eat anymore ham

Me:
There be a deceiver,yeah he prowls like a roaring lion,getting all these people crying,but he's just little satan,he's a phony so don't be shaken,he comes to steal,kill and destroy,but when you speak to him in the name of Jesus he runs like a little boy,you say you a believa,but I think you a deceiva,you say you living fo Christ,but I think you livin' only to please youself with yo life.

ShaLacey : hes full of bologna
the devil is a phony
he be tellin them lies
the cause of ur cries
in the night... Read More
ur tryin to put up a fight
the King stepped in
washed away ur sin
knowin ur livin for Him
ur no longer dim
but glowing bright
praisin god with all ur might
its a beautiful sight
servin him the rest of our life
theres gonna be pain and stirfe
but he will bring u through
and theres nuthin the devil can do


ShaLacey Marie Bertrand
haha ok thats it for me....for now


Me:
Haha guh we had it. I think we scared the devil away ;-)


ShaLacey
haha fo sho guh they cant mess with us.


So there you have it!We got Jesus in our hearts,and we're GREEEAT rappers..so we got it all! Foshizzle my nizzle.

(-;

Thursday, August 27, 2009

How funky is your chicken?How loose is your goose?

Here I am,sitting here enjoying my book "When God Writes Your Love Story" I go to take a drink of water,and my eyes come across something on the page,and the water shoots out of my mouth. "What if my future spouse followed me around throughout my day,every day of my life,would he feel cherished and adored by me as I interact with the opposite sex?Would he feel loved by my actions,or hurt that I'm giving away what's meant to be his?" I thought about it for a moment,I'm cheating on the guy God has for me!I know it doesn't seem to make sense,but I like a lot of guys at a time,and go after guys just because I hate being single. Would my future husband appreciate that?I think not.


So therefore,that's a habit I need to break. Now. No more giving away my heart,emotions,and even body to guys. Not until I'm married. I'm going to wait for God's "okay" on who to date. I'm not dating again until I know it's the one. God'll show me,don't doubt that.


-Christina Conduit

I want my life to be beautiful.

My book finally came in the mail!The 10 year,new version of "when God writes your love story" the thing I've been waiting for,for 6 days..is finally here!I'm already on chapter two and loving it. They didn't change too much,which is good because I absolutely loved the old version and was reading it for the 5th time.I believe this is step one to changing my life,bringing down the fake me,and exposing what I really am.Then rebuilding,becoming who I'm meant to be through Jesus Christ.

I wrote down a list of things that were keeping me from putting God first in my life.And you know what number one was?
1.Men,boys,guys,the opposite sex,dating,relationships.
It's almost what is keeping every girl from her relationship with God.I know I've gotta put my focus on God,if I ever want to have a beautiful love story,rather then something I tried to make by myself.


So,step one..30 minutes of alone time every day with God,daily bible reading,more focus,more christian books,talks with real believers.

Matthew 6:33 (King James Version)

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.



Wednesday, August 26, 2009

But did you know,you can let go?Let loose,sometimes.

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like screaming in someones ear at the top of your lungs?
That would be today for me. Yes,things are weird. Yes,I'm frustrated. I think this is the stage of my life where everything gets torn down,and gets rebuilt. But not in the same way,no. I'll be a new person,a new creation. With God's help. That's the only way I can get through this. No other way. Gotta grab the old trusty bible,my prayer heart.. and some christian books. And maybe a few people to help me through it all. Just wish I could find the right people. Lately my mother has been one of my closest friends,which is odd,because I never tell her anything. But I've been telling her a lot ..it's kinda different then what I'm used to,but I know I can trust her. So anyways, I don't know what to do. I finally followed God's voice about leaving Bolivar Wesleyan. Which was the HARDEST decision I've made in a long time. I've been pretty emo about it too,but I also know it's for the best. Most of the people there acted like children,I didn't feel like it was a family..It felt more like being the new person in a youth group,for 2 years. And hearing the same things taught over and over isn't how I roll either. So I listened to God,with a heavy heart and talked to Beci. Now I don't have to look back. I have a feeling this will also help with the Mufu situation also,no more reminders. Nothing there to constantly make me think of Mufu. And never ever seeing Mufu again,it sounds a lot better. I mean,I know I have to see him and confront him if he ever comes back,but I'm too much of a coward. I have to wait for God to give me the okay for that one. It's time to start anew,to give up everything I am now. It's time to become a new person. The Christina Conduit you've known for so long,will no longer be here.


-Christina Conduit

Monday, August 24, 2009

A song I wrote.

Untitled By Christina Conduit (Christina Shumard) ©

Looking up,at my savior on the cross
The agony in His eyes
He did this for me,and I'll never understand why
The earth starts to shake,bondages break
They put him in the tomb
Oh but there wasn't enough room

He came unnailed
Oh death where is your victory
Death where is your sting
As Jesus lives again,His people start to sing
Yesterday,today,forever he remains the same
As he rises up to heaven we declare Jesus reigns

He came to earth to die
To open up our eyes
He gave us a second chance
And holds the world in the palm of his hands
He let them put a crown,of thorns on his head
He declared it is finished with his last breath

He came unnailed
Oh death where is your victory
Death where is your sting
As Jesus lives again,His people start to sing
Yesterday,today,forever he remains the same
As he rises up to heaven we declare Jesus reigns

Looking up,at my savior in the sky
He came to earth to die
But death couldn't stop Him.

Do you remember when we first met?I sure do.

Hello there.
Saturday I went to an outdoor movie hosted by some people I do not know.
But nonetheless,I went.It was absolutely boring,and apparently Bear hates me now.I guess I'm a "clueless skan*" Because I won't date him.Lame.
Whatever.So anyways,Sunday..I went to church.I wore this black dress..and this painful high heels.Church was super though.I was too busy being nervous to hear a lot of the stuff though.Afterwards *he* said hi to me..He asked how I was..and even though I was unaware of it,he gave me a hug. How did I know that if I was unaware?My friend told me.It was like a dream..strange. I handed him the note and he asked what it was,and I said it was for him.He asked if my friend was my sister,and I said nope.Then she introduced herself...and wow.He's really nice.So,after all that. I really wanted to go back to church that night,and I told Laura Stover this.So,conveniently,I ended up going with her. They were invited to go out to eat,and guess who was there.Yep,him.How strange.He was sitting at the other end of the table and didn't say a word to me.But then,"you have 1 new text message" "*him*: Hi Christina,you look good!" are you kidding me?He texted me.. woah. And here I was looking at my phone,dazed with a huge smile,I looked up and he was looking at me. Okay,moment over.We texted a little.. and then that was it.. Didn't get to say goodbye to him at church that night either.But,I may see him Wednesday.I told my mother about the whole thing too.


So,Erna's husband fell off of the semi.. he has bleeding in his brain,fractured his skull,and his back may be broken. I'm keeping him in my prayers,and I hope you can too. My mom is working double shifts because of all this,and it's making things a little bit harder for everyone.


To add to this,I'm not feeling well.I've been a bit sick today,and just napped the day away. I woke up to all this news.

But on the bright side,my new cell phone,and my book comes in the mail tomorrow.I think things will be a little easier with that.

He has an accent.


-Christina Conduit.

Friday, August 21, 2009

So I said baby,it's 3am I must be lonely

I'm wondering if you knew..
that there was no color in the world until I met you?

Oh dear...
Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Do you have a band-aid?
Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

So lately,I've been wondering.. where is this going?Will I even get to talk to you?Will we be okay?Will everything be over?


It's not easy,but I'm going to find the answers.Give me two days, and I can show you the world.I've come to notice,the skies are the brightest when I'm under the stars with you.So please just walk with me,and lets talk this over.I know we can work this out.


It's like running,but getting nowhere. It's like there's a brick wall keeping me from this,and I can't climb over it,or break through it.You're on the other side,and I know you can break through.It's you who's gotta fix this.I can't do anything,I'm helpless.


I'm crushed,black and blue..but you know I'd do it all again for you.


Lalala..lonely days and starlight nights.


So yes,I'm being completely random. I haven't talked to Cracker S in like.. two days.. and it wasn't even much.But at least I know he's not ignoring me.I cannot wait till Sunday..I can give him this note and hopefully everything will be okay again.Back where it all started.Although that's not what I wanted,there's nothing I can do.


All I know is,I'm counting on God. He's my strength and my fortress.He's got my back.Nothing can break me down.Whatever happens,is God's will.


I like cheese!Erm...banana pancakes?Dude..I'm so tired. I'm trying to pull an all-nighter..so I'm posting this blog.It's only 12am..I'm pathetic.Yep.Soo....I'm quite excited.Got a lot coming at me next week,but it's gonna be good I can tell.It's gonna give it it's best shot and I'm gonna fight it.

His laugh is awesome.

Just thought that had to be mentioned and appreciated.I enjoy his laugh..

Anyways,moving on.Lalala.I should read my bible to help me stay up for this all-nighter.I can't believe how exhausted I am already.If I can really stay up it'll be a shocker.I have a feeling in an hour I'll give up and go to bed.But I'm going to give it a try anyways.See how it works.


Shalalalalalala.Shalalalalala.Girl!I hear a song makes me think of a girl I used to know :-)

Ha,I'm allowed to be completely random.So,I bought this ipod at a garage sale right?And it was $5, 40GB works nice.Has some amazing songs on it and some I'm falling in love with.Used to be owned by a guy named Maverick.I'm determined to find this Maverick,because we could be good friends.We both have super good taste in music.Yes we do.


I should take new photos for my myspace eventually.I've been failing at keeping up with internet stuff because real life is like...BOOM.Outta nowhere.Don't you just love it?Sure is interesting.

Hm,I don't think I have anything interesting to say.


-Christina Conduit.



Thursday, August 6, 2009

Every year one person falls off....

Okay,so I only like one person now,all those other guys...= bad news.Hah I won't even tell all the events that have happened in my absence,but I will say..they weren't good at all.So today I'm headed out to hocking hills for a 3 day camping trip with the youth group.I called my mother while she was at work to tell her I'm up and packing..well she said "don't go anywhere off the trail,one of my ladies says that 1 person falls off every year" ONE PERSON?OHMYGOODNESS!hah!And falls of what?The wagon?No mom,that won't be me,that will be Beci.♥ ha.When I get back,it'll be 4:30 in the pm on Saturday.I'll probably just go to bed after that instead of making plans,then Sunday I've got church.So,nothing too interesting is happening.I'm just bored and tired.I'm ready to go with an hour and a half to kill.Woo!

-Christina Conduit

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Baby lets find a way,back to those crazy days...

Wow,good day.Yesterday I went to the lockin at the roc,which was amazing!I was a group leader..and we played games.Guess which team came in last?MINE:D guess which team had the most fun?MINE!haha.Being losers doesn't mean you won't have fun.So my mom invited this kid whom I'd never met and I had to show him around/hang out with him.His named was Jared.He's pretty coo'.So,I can't remember the outside games,but I remember the inside ones.We did capture the pooky,another one I forget,and the relay race.Our team won the relay.Which included,passing a marshmallow along the line,with tooth picks in our mouths and no hands allowed.It was pretty gross,plus I stood by a new guy I like (shhh!") So anyways,after that two people in our group had to eat a whole pack of saltine crackers,than someone had to eat a raw potato,then baby food,and I had to get a whole straw in my mouth without using my hands.Someone had to lick oreos off a window,and we had to string ice up and down our clothes and hand it to the next person and they did the same.It was COLD D: And,then there was another thing. The blindfolded peanut butter sandwich game.Two people had to be blindfolded,and one had to stand behind the other person,put their arms around them and put the peanut butter on the bread,and fold it.Then they had to try to feed it to the person.Well,I didn't wanna do anything involving food,but everyone else was a wimp because they don't like milk.So here I go,and low and behold,Brenden (the guy I kinda like) Had to feed me.So here he is his arms through mine,trying to put peanut butter on the sandwich.Then he shoved it all over my face saying "IS THIS YOUR MOUTH?" Finally he made it to my mouth,and I got some and told him to back off.Then he kept shoving it all over my face.It was funny :D At about 3am I turned into a jerk for a little while.Hah!But then I got loopy and was probably just embarrassing myself.But we were all laughing.Haha I love all-nighters.Woo-wee.So anyways,in the end before we all left,Brenden was about to leave,so I was like "I like you" and right that moment he had to go.I have no idea what he thinks. I see him tomorrow. I know I shouldn't be like this!I was trying to stay single for a while,but it's just so hard. I'm not sure if I'm entirely ready for a relationship,but I just wanna know if he likes me. At least 4 people seemed to think he did.I guess I'll find out when I see him tomorrow.He doesn't have a cell phone I don't think.He wore my hoodie half the night.It was pretty funny =] But in other news,fun day and yesterday.All in all a good time.I'm feeling a lot better.

-Christina Conduit

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Because there's always a tomorrow...

Dear blogger,
I'm back again and I'm sorry for my last post.
Things aren't too bad,they just seem like it. I need to just suck it up.
I gotta get a positive attitude,and move on.

I went bowling with my sister and Chris today. And it wasn't too fun. But,on the bright side tomorrow there's a lockin at the roc. That should be fun,and get me back on my feet. The lock ins are always insane,and make you crazy and pumped.So,hopefully it will. And Sunday,will rock. Because I love Sundays/get to go to church/and see Sam. I think on Monday we're headed out to West Virginia. Hopefully,that would be amazing. I need a vacation desperately. And I love staying with David and Maria. It's tons of fun.


I need to lost a couple pounds,all of this stress is making me eat!Ach.I fail,I need a new way to cope.


-Christina Conduit.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What could possibly go wrong?

So,have you ever had one of those days where everything that could possibly goes wrong,does?
-I haven't talked to Sam since Sunday,because I feel like if I always start the conversations he'll think I'm a stalker.
-My ex got a girlfriend,and I don't know why that even bothers me.
-Owen is being mean to me because I won't date him again,I even explained to him that I'm not dating again until my birthday,and told him we could try if he was willing to wait,and he said screw that.
-I've been cooped up in this house for two days straight.
And I think that's it.
I'm such a complainer,looking at this now it doesn't seem so bad.


But man,I just feel so weak.I need to focus on God..I was doing so good,but then lost it again. It's just rough. I can't live without him,but I try to.

Anyhoo,this is just a short post to say that I'm losing my mind.

-Christina Conduit.

Monday, July 27, 2009

And this is what happens when you go a few days without posting on blogger...

Hi!I'm tired -.- It's finally the end of a worthless Monday.Ach,it's no fun.I was going to go to Carrollton tomorrow,but I guess I'm not.I'm considering going to the girls movie night at "The Roc" But I don't really know if I feel like doing that.Wednesday..I've got nothing.I don't know,I thought I had a lot of plans.

But anyways,earlier today I went for a walk,I followed the railroad tracks,to a place I'd never been before..I found this secret place where you can watch over cars on the highway.It just gave me time to think,sitting there watching cars go by.Then I kept on walking,and walking.I found a clearing,with a little old shed..and I heard a truck starting up,and got a churning feeling in my belly.So I turned and ran back.Tomorrow I want to go check that place out again.It feels like an adventure to me.My video camera will definitely be there to capture every moment of whatever this may be.Yes,I'm a bit weird.I feel poetic today.But the weird thing is,I don't really have anything interesting to say.Ughhh.

Me and Janelle had a fantastic weekend,watched 3 movies,went to the fair,and pulled one all nighter. Well,she went to bed. I stayed up on webcam. I don't feel like talking about every little detail,but no..I didn't run into my ex at the fair. Kinda thankful for that. And I talked to someone at church..My newest crush pretty much..I had added him on facebook two days before..haha. He's pretty cool.I'm sure you'll hear more about him.


But other than that,nothing is going on.

-Christina Conduit.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Rawr,I'm still alive.

VBS.

Well hello.I pretty much died for a while.I helped with VBS,and wow.I had the 3-5 year old class,and they were amazing.Although some of them were really bad.I think they taught me more then I taught them.All in all,I'm glad I signed up.I felt as though God was asking me to sign up,which usually helping with a bunch of snotty nosed kids isn't much of my favorite thing to do.But I listened to Him,and now I see why He wanted me to help.I'm better with kids now,got closer to an old friend,and had a ton of fun.

This weekend.

I am picking Janelle up tonight and she's staying with me till Sunday.So today,I'll be cleaning the bathroom before she comes over.I finally finished my room,and I'm thrilled about that.I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow,probably rent a movie or something.Saturday we're going to the fair all day,which isn't looking too good due to the fact that it has chances of storm on the weather channel.Oh joy.And I know I'm gonna run into my ex.I just know it!But I'm going to have fun at all costs!Then Sunday we were gonna go horseback riding,but I'll probably drop her off at church and skip the horseback riding because I don't want to miss youth group for two weeks in a row.I finished the video I made for the youth,from camp.It's pretty amazing,and the first one I've ever made.So I feel pretty good about it.But yeah,that's the excuses for my long absence.I should do a special post or something..

-Christina Conduit

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Million miles away,and still thinking of him..

I've figured out the first thing I have to give up to God.
Mufu.
That's one thing,I have got to let go of.
He was never mine,and never will be.He's God's.I enjoyed having him as a friend,
but it appears as though I'm not meant to have him in my life at all.
It's so hard to understand and get over it. Because I miss him terribly.I just wanna talk to him.
God,I need the strength to let him go.
After 1 year,and one month of him being far away, and not talking to him in 11 months,
I think it's time to let go.
This shouldn't grip me like this,my heart aches everytime he comes across my mind.
Which is almost all the time.It's hard to let go after getting so close to someone.
God,I pray that he's doing alright.
I'm going to let him go right now,that's it.No more thoughts of Mufu,this is the first thing I have to give you.
If I ever want you to write my love story.
Mufu is yours.I'm done.I'm letting go,not forgetting,but not remembering every waking second.

Goodbye my dear.


-Christina Conduit.

Here we go again..

Song of Solomon- read.
God is the ultimate romantic.


For things to start changing ,you've gotta give him every area of your life.
WHAT!Okay God,you can sail my boat...
I'll just be ...uhhh..down in MY room.
*knock knock*
You want this room too God?I've given you everything else!
why this too?!


Honestly,I didn't wanna let him in. That was my room, with nothing useful in it, just everything that makes me, me.My reputation,the things I adore,what means the most to me.

I know what you're thinking..."don't let him in Christina!" welp,I let Him in.I'm not sure what it's gonna do for me,but I've given God everything.All of it is in His hands now.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep,to gain what he cannot lose.



Daniel 3

The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace
1 King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.

4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, "This is what you are commanded to do, O peoples, nations and men of every language: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace."

7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

8 At this time some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "O king, live forever! 10 You have issued a decree, O king, that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up."

13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king's command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?"
They replied, "Certainly, O king."

25 He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!"
So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."

30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.


God,I give it to you. I'm gonna trust you. Every part of my life is yours, even the part I didn't want you open up to you. I'm giving it to you now.

-Christina Conduit

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Christina Conduit is..

Trusting God with her love story.
So,I am single again.And that's it,I've decided something.

This may sound strange,but I've decided that I won't give my heart to another guy until God shows me it's my husband!
How do I expect to find someone without looking?
I believe,that if God wants me to be married,He will pick him out for me.
You disagree with me?You think God doesn't want us to waste his time asking for something like that?You think he wants us to pick and then blesses our choice?
Well all I know is,everytime I've tried to pick out a guy for my life,I realize that in the long run,I have horrible taste.If God had 10 men line up in front of me,and said "Christina,you pick" I'd fall flat on my face before Him and say "God you know me better then I know myself,YOU pick!"


God,I've just given you the pen to my love story.
I'm going to stay single till my birthday 12/23 no matter what.
And maybe for a whole year if possible.

So,there you have it folks!I've just given God my love life.I'm done with this shallow dating,I date guys for a week and then it's over.There's something wrong there.God knows what he's doing,so I'm gonna trust him.

-Christina Conduit

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hello Change,nice to meet you.

Hello,I'm Christina.
And I think it's time to be real.I've been so ridiculous lately I must say.
I'm going to tell the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth,from this moment on.I've just recently got some amazing friends.
Before,my only friends were people who bailed out on me all the time,
and weren't truly my friends.I've fixed things with people who I needed to fix things with,and I've got onto a straighter path.
I'm trying to read my bible everyday,and spend special time with God.
I'm in a relationship again,with Owen Ray Travis.
I'm not sure how long it will last, but I'm asking God if this is right.
Owen has never kissed a girl,imagine that!That's pretty darn decent,if you ask me.
I'm now a Mystic,and don't ask what it is cause I'd rather not explain it.
But my Mystic name is MysticWolf©.
I'm moving on from my mistakes.Goodbye.

-Christina Conduit

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wind,Earthquake,Fire?Devastation,pain,tragedy.

1 Kings 19:11-12
11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.



A great and powerful wind blew,but God was not in the wind.
He doesn't use something so large to talk to us,but if we're doing something that's not of his will,he might blow something our way.Maybe he'll send a tornado through your life so he can rearrange it,into what it needs to be.
God wasn't in the earthquake..but he might use some stuff to shake you.
And he wasn't in the fire,but he might use something to burn you.
If you're doing something you know you shouldn't,you will get burnt.
And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
We sometimes let things blow us around,shake us,and burn us.
We get so worked up about things and worry too much instead of trusting him.
And just put him into a little box under our bed and such and so.
But after all the tragedy,comes a soft whisper.
Sometimes so soft we don't hear it,other times we need it so much we're desperately listening for it.That is where God's at.Calling us back to him.
He doesn't exactly "whisper" to us,but he uses little things to do it,
maybe a song,or a time when you remember you were closer to him.
He will get your attention with wind,earthquakes,and fire (life) to call you back to him.We all get caught up in our own world every once in a while,but we need to trust him.He is truly all you need and he will always be there.Day and night.Just trust him,and listen for the soft whisper,cause it's truly worth it.


He's there.Listen.

-Christina Conduit

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Honestly?What can I say.I'm a dreamer.

List 20 things you want to say to people, but never could. Do not say who they are.

1)Honestly,why must you waste everyones time?

2)I wish I hadn't scared you away like that.

3)I just want your friendship back.

4)I don't want to be with you,I just want you in my life.

5)Honey,it's gonna be okay.

6)You have no idea,how many times you've saved me dear.

7)Why did I waste so much time on this?All you've done is break me.

8)Sorry if I post too many bulletins hoe!If you don't like it,delete me.
(I'm too nice to say that)

9)Seriously,what's with the middle school drama?It's time for you to grow up.This is the real world.

10)I would of loved you.

11)Do you know you used to be my hero?

12)I've lost all respect for you.

13)Sometimes I wanna run away to England to tell you goodbye in person.Since you just cut off all contact with me.

14)Do you remember when we were kids?I certainly do.Before whores existed.

15)I appreciate how much you care for me,and I know you try your hardest,but sometimes I feel like you expect me to be perfect.

16)You used to be my sunshine and I used to be your girl,Oh wait that was only in my dreams,not the real world.

17)I miss you.

18)I can call anytime?Bull $h!t.

19)You be my star,I'll be your sky.

20)Will you please just hold me?

@mp,M0n$t3r,0v3rdr!v3.

Well 'allo there!You know something?I'm kinda pumped up.A whole weekend of the strawberry festival,and only today left.Thursday was the best so far,but I might be surprised.
Apparently,I'm the winner of the "fugly" contest.Well,that's what whatever his name is said.

I told him,I'm not ugly.I'm just fearfully and wonderfully made ;D



But whatever,I did kinda flip out on him too,but I'll leave that part out.I could of handled it more maturely and christian-like.But I failed.So,there's always next time to do better.


I love Monster,it's like..so good.Not like I need it to make me hyper anyways.I'm usually already like that.It just makes me actually awake.I've been so worn out lately,but now I feel awake.Although I'm having back,shoulder,and rib pains.Just got it all going on.


Today I have the strawberry fest of course,starting at 4pm I will be in the parade with my mother for her work.But until then,I'm puppy sitting.Thank God he's sleeping!I'm so happy.He would whine every time I came to get on the computer,so since he's sleeping I can have some me time.

Tomorrow I've got church,and Monday I'm supposed to be starting lessons with Jonathan.
That should be interesting.Hmm.Carrollton Tuesday,and I get a break from church Wednesday cause they're all at camp.I might go out on the townn.

But!Enough about this.This doesn't seem much like an ISP but whatever.I'm not doing too shabby.But I'm not feeling too great.

I'm not okay,I'm not okay today,and I can't guarantee that I'll be okay tomorrow,but one thing I'm sure of,I'll be okay one day,and I hold onto that promise..


-Christina Conduit

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Christina yeah the past is just a Conduit...

Who oh who..

So I guess ol' Jonny boy isn't so bad.He is gonna give me private dancing lessons with him.I'm kinda nervous about that.But we'll see what happens.

I'm stuck between 3 things right now,and I know it's bad but I'm not sure of what to do.


But one thing I'm for sure of is,God knows what he's doing and I just gotta follow him for what's best.

This is an ISP (incredibly short post) and I'm gonna start doing lots of ISP's Lol.

sooo yeah,
I'll do tiny updates<3



-Christina Conduit

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ach what a Monday........

Oh Hai there...

I have just about had it.People make me so freaking angry.
Gah.It's like I can't do anything right.But it's not me,it's them.
Rofl.

But anyhoo,I'm great.Yep,I may have had it with people but I'm happy.All I need is my iPod,a good friend,and a long winding road.I'm fine,I swear.I have band practice and church tonight.I'm gonna see if Taylor wants to go.I don't feel too well.I think I've got something.At least I don't feel as bad as I did the other day.

"Oh crap,I thought that was my dad at the door ringing the doorbell to be funny.But it wasn't and I didn't fix my makeup or anything after I threw up all over.I'm sorry I look so horrible,just don't let it bother you" ..."you don't look horrible.And it's okay"


"what's wrong?"
"Oh nothing,I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"I don't know if I should tell you,cause I don't wanna freak you out."
"Please tell me."
"Alright...I like you."
"I was kinda hoping for that,and?"
"and I love your personality."
"And?"
"and you're gorgeous."
"And?"
"And you're amazing."
"And?"
"And I can actually put up with you."
"And?"
"And I'm losing my tolerance.Haha Just kidding."
"Well I'm gonna keep saying and until you say what I wanna hear."
"And,I know this is a bit straightforward,but I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna date me?"
One word was all it took.
"Yes."






"Lets talk about something so they don't get suspiceous,what's you're favorite color?"
"Okay,and I'd have to say blue."
"Just like your eyes."
*smiles*


Eep.My heart.♥ Ka-BOOM!


-Christina Conduit

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

And who woulda thunk it....

Wow.So I pretty much had a great fabulous incredible weekend.If those are even good words for it.I didn't settle for just okay.And you know what?I'm freaking happy now.So anyhoo,I went down to my other house for the whole weekend.What did I expect?Nothing at all.

But I left with a lot more then I came with.Coincidence?Not at all.God certainly is good.

I mean,wow.I'm great.Although I felt the worst pain I've ever felt and threw up like 3 times,I'm wonderful.I mean,I expected nothing.

I guess when you don't expect anything you get more then you bargained for.

Which is good.


So,I think it's time to start blogging again.I've been failing a lot lately.
Do yall remember ol' Jonny boy?Well yeah,he's a douche bag I guess.hahaha.He totally bailed out on us all.I mean,ach..what are we gonna do now?Go pay big bucks?No thanks.I totally quit.


But who cares about that anyways.I'm restless,and took a shower at 3am,I mean what's up with that?!?I'm not sure what else to do so I'm gonna sit here and type about I donno what.

Erm,lets see here....Chocolate milk sounds great right now but it's all the way downstairs and I'm too scared to go get it.haha.I have no idea.I'm being so weird.Eeep.

I like the color green.gah.Hm,I think whatshernamethatIwonttellyouwho is starting to see that I'm not such a bad person after all.She got everyone to plot against me because they all fall for her game.But she was sad the other day and I was the mature one who went over and asked what was wrong.It was something about those kids whom I don't like,and I told her that's why I don't hang out with them cause they're bound to piss you off.And she talked to me a bit.First time in a while.Since mr.stupid rock your world guy.Yeah,more like destroy world.Ach,I'm not even going there.


I ruined the lovely color green,by talking about jerks.SO,I'll use this color for something better.I have about 20 some energy drink cans on my dresser.I never throw them away haha.That's intense.I wonder how tubesteaks doing.Hahah I remember that kid.I miss how he used to be.Eep,now he's all with whatsherface whom treats me like crap.I'm listening to music.Interesting aye.Smileys look retarded on blogger.I hate it so much.=P see?<---------------


Ach you guys,I'll be more orginized next time with this.but for now just myspace me,msn,aim,whatever.

-Christina Conduit the most grooviest chick on the planet as Dwayne says.haha.What a weirdo.

Monday, May 4, 2009

It's time to grow up,put up,or shut up!

I've finally started to get it right.I know,crazy huh?

-I don't like the guy I liked last week,because he is not what I need..I lowered my standards and my morals so I might have had a chance with him,but that's stupid.I need someone who accepts me as I am.

-I've come to understand that I don't always have to have a boyfriend.

-I have a passion,I wanna learn more and more about God.I wanna win souls to Christ.Ken Gaub helped me make this realization.

-Everyones purpose,we are all here to worship God,but we all have different destinies.

-I don't gotta worry about what's going on in America,or in the world,or in Bolivar,because I know what's going on in my world,And in the end I win!

-I'm content.

Kinda crazy,you might think I'm weird or illusinating but I'm fine.I'm alright for once.Everything is fine,I don't care what's going on with them.But I wanna help them.

All these girls,who think they have to have a boyfriend to be happy,and all these guys who only want one thing,they just don't understand.And 15 year old guys/girls who think they're in love.How foolish!Love isn't sex,love isn't a feeling.Love is a commitment and putting up with each other.Love is when you can put God first in your relationship,and love is when you can date without any physical ness,or whatever you'd call it.I think we need to shake some people,and ask them what in hell do they want?There is nothing in hell but pain.Never ending burning scorching fire.Torture.But yet,people go on living for themselves,they say that they are the ones who rule their lives.That's not living,and they sure don't understand.

Ken Gaub was on an airplane traveling,and he got stuck sitting by a man who had a very dirty mouth,so Ken looks over at this guy and says,"Do you wanna go to heaven?" and the guy says,"No,not really" then Ken replied "Then go to hell!" And everyone on the plane started clapping,and Ken said "Are you clapping because of what I said,or because he's going to hell?"

Funny stuff!But it's so sad that people don't get it.Ken Gaub is a great soul winner,with his wit and humor,I want to do that.Be able to win people as he does for the kingdom of God.I'm working on it at this point.I've pulled out all my christian shirts,with christian sayings on them,All my "how to win souls for Christ" books,and I've packed my bible in my purse so it goes everywhere with me.Who knows,maybe it will get people talking.Maybe they will wonder what I have that makes me content with myself,I don't have to have a boyfriend to be happy,and I don't have to do drugs/drink/or smoke to be happy.Cause I've got Jesus.He loves you,and there ain't nothing you can do about it!I love that.How can people look at all the beauty in this world,and say there's not a God?It boggles my mind.But now I'm gonna get out there and make a difference.I'm gonna get to these people,I'm gonna do whatever I have to.I've gotta make a difference for God's kingdom.I've gotta help.America is a christian nation,and I'm not letting Obama,or anyone throw that away!It's time to grow up,put up,or shut up!


-Classical Christina

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Exhausted and ready to go..

You know what?

I'm afraid.Yall know,that I'm not one to ever be afraid of anything,but I actually am.
Only 1 in 100 of the couples that get married,are truly in love and meant for each other.But those 99,they all chose the wrong person and it usually ends up in divorce!
But anyways,I'm afraid that I'll end up being one of those 99.At this point,I'm stuck in hicktown,no,it's not even hicktown...it's nowhere!At least hicktown is somewhat normal.Down here,everyone gossips and it spreads like crazy just because it's such a small town.I can't do anything without someone finding out.I'm ready to get out of here.Maybe move to West Virginia and live with David.Oh if only I could.I absolutely cannot stand this place.There is no one here,I have no trust worthy friends,except for people 20 and up.Is that weird?Yes.Because all of the effin kids down here are whores and total jerks.And why do I not fit in with them?Because when someone is trying to tell me a story about someone else,I say "I don't want to get caught up in the gossip,so take it somewhere else" and every guy I've dated,they all want something after only two effin weeks of dating,and when I tell them they aren't getting any,I'm considered "ms.goody two shoes" or whatever the hell it is.So I'm trying to live my life problem free and I'm waiting a while for anything to happen,shouldn't that make me better then them in a sense?But no,I'm just considered a loser.It's all good though.I mean,I've got a lot of good karma coming my way,right?"Do unto others as you would have them do to you?"."Measure and it will be measured back to you?" Right now it seems like all I'm getting is a bunch of total douches.But I know eventually I should get what I deserve.The beauty of grace,is that it makes life not fair.


"I've given up,on doing this alone now,cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown now,you've showed me the way and I'm trying to get there"-Relient K


"So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?You'll never know if you don't go,you'll never shine if you don't glow.."-Smash mouth


Where to go,who to turn to?I have nothing left,but if I ain't got nothing I've got nothing to lose.


I'm alive and I'm free,who wouldn't wanna be me?


Tell me what should I do?All my paths led me to you.If you're not on the path to me,how did we end up meeting in the middle?Everything happens for a reason darling,but why won't you understand that?The fact that I'm right here in front of you..-Christina Shumard


You take away the old
Show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you.


"So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood’s not America
So long put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood’s not America
Oh yeah

And everybody heres, from somewhere else
You could make a million dollars, but you might lose yourself
And you can take the heat will your heart go cold
They say acting’s just pretending, even that gets old"-hollywoods not america



"Don’t treat me to the things of this world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me, then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you own
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone

All the single ladies
Now put your hands up
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh
oh oh oh

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh"-Beyonce



cause when push comes to shove you taste what your made of, you might bend till you break cause its all you can take on your knees
you look up decide you've had enough you get mad you get
strong wipe your hands shake it off then you stand.


Oh what a shame,what a rainy ending to a perfect day.







Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Because after all....

you're my wonderwall<3

Quotes?

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.
If you don't ask, the answer is always no. if you
don't step forward, you're always in the same place.




There are a lot of obstacles in life.
You can try to walk around them,
pretend they're not there,
and pretend not to care,
but in the end the only person that
you would be fooling is yourself.




Don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you could have imagine. Who knows where life could take you. The road is long
and in the end the journey is the
destination.



Don't be afraid of death,
be afraid of an unlived life.
You don't have to live forever,
you just have to live.



Don't hold my hand if you aren't willing to take everything that comes with it.


I want to believe what I want to
believe, that someday the future holds
for me something special, yet something
unique, somewhere over the rainbow.



Keep your head high gorgeous.
There are people that would
kill to see you fall.


We used to be friends you know,
once upon a time when I was
good enough for you.




you change for one of two reasons
either you learn enough to want to.
or you've been hurt enough you have to.



To live is the rarest thing.
Most people only exist.


He had one of those rare smiles. With quality of eternal reassurance in it that you may come across four or five times in life.




So yeah,I think that's all for now.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Things don't always make since...

Why in the hell are things so weird lately?My grandfather died on April 1st,and I did not cry,I wasn't even sad.Why?Because I hardly knew him,he never treated me like I was a grand daughter.I mean,he wasn't mean to me or anything,I just didn't know him.My mum's friends' husband also died on April 1st,two in one day.The things that happen on April fools day,completely unforgettable.



But on a lighter note,things are alright for me.Sure they're probably hard for a lot of people,but I'ma doing alright for once in my life.I never complain about my problems,and I won't.I used to be such a complainer,but lately,not at all.Things are going good.I've been content with myself.I haven't called myself ugly or fat in two weeks.For once I'm starting to realize,I have it a lot better then most people.



It's only Friday right now,and usually I sit around complaining about how much I hate Fridays,but not today.My parents are going to someones funeral,not my grandfathers but the other guys.And I don't have to go thank God.I hate funerals.Sure I'm stuck home tonight,but that's okay.And I'll probably still be stuck home tomorrow.Fine,alright.Give it your best shot life,cause I won't be brought down.I have my stereo,my cell phone,and my new empty notebook.That's all I need to get through these two days.



Lets see here,only 3 more days till Monday.I can hardly wait.Although now there's something to cause conflict with my good Monday,and what would that be?My grandfathers funeral is also Monday.The one day I'm meant to be happy and spend time with my crush.How ironic,isn't it?But that's okay.Also,the funeral and everything that comes with it is over at 3:15pm.And I don't have to see *him* till 6:30.I hope that buys me enough time to sort out everything and what I'm gonna do.



Oh,is it random quote time?Yes please.



Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think of what could go right.



How do you go forward
if you won't let go of the past?
And how do you open one door
if you can't close the last?



So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows, but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.



You can fear the future or you can embrace it.
The choice is yours
* Smallville *



the days don't seem to change
strolling down memory lane
hand in hand with the person I used to be
before your words spoke symphonies
to here to now to me
hand in hand with the person I used to be..-Jimmy Robbins



"All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight"



"You used to shine so bright But I watched all of it fade"



"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
just to lie you've got to rise above"


What makes you think everyone wants you?You'll see in the end when you're all alone that you were wrong.-Christina Shumard


So lets close our eyes and makes far-fetched wishes wasting our time,
Candy coated kisses.
Why wish when you could fight for what you want?
Is love not a battlefield?
Get out there in the fight,you're gonna go far kid.-Christina Shumard



-ClassyChristina