But did you know,you can let go?Let loose,sometimes.

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like screaming in someones ear at the top of your lungs?
That would be today for me. Yes,things are weird. Yes,I'm frustrated. I think this is the stage of my life where everything gets torn down,and gets rebuilt. But not in the same way,no. I'll be a new person,a new creation. With God's help. That's the only way I can get through this. No other way. Gotta grab the old trusty bible,my prayer heart.. and some christian books. And maybe a few people to help me through it all. Just wish I could find the right people. Lately my mother has been one of my closest friends,which is odd,because I never tell her anything. But I've been telling her a lot ..it's kinda different then what I'm used to,but I know I can trust her. So anyways, I don't know what to do. I finally followed God's voice about leaving Bolivar Wesleyan. Which was the HARDEST decision I've made in a long time. I've been pretty emo about it too,but I also know it's for the best. Most of the people there acted like children,I didn't feel like it was a family..It felt more like being the new person in a youth group,for 2 years. And hearing the same things taught over and over isn't how I roll either. So I listened to God,with a heavy heart and talked to Beci. Now I don't have to look back. I have a feeling this will also help with the Mufu situation also,no more reminders. Nothing there to constantly make me think of Mufu. And never ever seeing Mufu again,it sounds a lot better. I mean,I know I have to see him and confront him if he ever comes back,but I'm too much of a coward. I have to wait for God to give me the okay for that one. It's time to start anew,to give up everything I am now. It's time to become a new person. The Christina Conduit you've known for so long,will no longer be here.


-Christina Conduit