One word;
EPIC.

Heck yes.
Awesome way to start
the new year.
Happy 2011 folks.

-Ms. Conduit

P.s. Bear; thanks. Even though you
hardly understand the situation,
you made me feel a lot better about it.
You're awesome, and I hope you can
come see me sing January 7th.
And reassure me. :P

Resolutions.

~New Years Resolutions~

I figured I'd get this out of the way now, since tonight,
even though I REALLY don't want to, I'm going to a lock in.
Oh, now don't get me wrong. I love lock ins. I just don't like
being forced to play games where you get eggs cracked on
your head. Needless to say, I'm a tiny bit terrified. Bring
it on world, bring it on Beci.

I don't really know what my resolutions should be this
year. There's always room for improvement, but I'm so
amazed at how much better I got last year. If you look
past all the mistakes, and the wasted bit of months.
I've come a long way, and I'm proud of myself.
2010, you were oh so interesting. I learned a lot.
But, I still have a lot to learn.

My resolutions last year were along the lines of;
1. Reading my bible every day.
2. Spending more time with God.
3. Doing more for others.
4. I can't remember the rest.
But, anyways. I've done well at bible
reading and time with God. And I'd like
to say I've helped a lot of people. Maybe
they were just simple things, or maybe it
changed their life for the better. Either way,
I did my best.

New Year, New Standards.
1. Do one thing every day that scares me.
2. Quit allowing the tiniest things to effect
me so much.
3. Worry less. Much less.
4. Somehow, become more confident.
5. Accept compliments; instead of just
shooting them down like I always do.
6. Lose like 10 pounds, LOLJK.
I like food too much ;D
7. Make someone smile, everyday.
I have to know that it was me that caused
the smile.
8. Speak up more often. I somehow just have
a habit of not saying what I think.
9. Quit letting people put me down. I don't
care if you're "just kidding". You don't have
the right to tell me that I'm not good enough.
10. Do more in church.
11. Get out of the house more.
12. Quit caring about what people think of me
so much. I know who I am in Christ.
13. Somehow, try to stop shutting down when
I get so close to really trusting someone. I'm just
afraid of being ditched again. And my defenses
always come up when I get too close.
14. Again, do more for other people.
15. Clean more, because this house is still a wreck.
16. Quit letting other people define me.
17. Be myself. And continue to do so regardless.

I've never been too good at the whole
"New year resolutions" thing. I don't really
know what I should work on. I mean, I know
I'm a total complete wreck sometimes. And I know
I've got a lot to fix. But it just seems silly to list
it all, I guess.

Ah, oh well.
What are your resolutions?

-Ms. Conduit

A double shot of honesty.

You want honesty?
Well, here it is.

I've always been the "I'll take care of myself"
type. I've always walked alone. It wasn't always
my choice, it's just what was given to me.
You see, my siblings were all older than me.
When they still lived at home with me, I had
no problems. I didn't need to talk to anyone,
I didn't need help, I was just a kid. As I started
growing up, they all moved out one by one.
And suddenly, I was alone. Not that it much
mattered, because I was always a weird child
to begin with. When I could of been inside with
my siblings, watching movies with them, I was
instead outside. Alone, exploring the small world
that I was stuck inside of. Catching frogs and snakes,
just being a kid. Walking along the lake, thinking
deeper thoughts than a child should think.
Once everyone left, I was stuck in a semi- new town.
With just my parents, my home church, and the small
youth group down the street. I invested two years of
my life into that youth group, but yet I still felt like
the new kid that everyone was afraid to talk to. And
the one person who was my absolute best friend there
ended up going far away anyways. I was just a lonely
young teenager. I had the wrong kinds of friends at
my home church. You think church kids are perfect?
Think again. I got stuck in a crowd of people who were
doing all the things that I was trying to avoid. I was
lost, and eventually I quit spending time with that crowd.

I've always walked alone. Sure, sometimes a person
would join me on my walk, but it has never lasted very
long. I guess I'm just one of those people. People walk into
my life when they're having problems, ask me for help,
and when I give them their help, they're gone.
And I'm okay with that. As long as I can help someone,
or brighten their day, they can ditch me all they want.

As for taking care of myself?
Well, you see.. I've never had that "helping hand"
that some people have. That person they can talk
to whenever, about anything. I thought I had one
of those people at one point, but that changed.
It's been two years since. Yes, I've got Jesus. And
He's probably the only reason I'm still sane to be
honest. Anyway, I've always had a thing for rejecting
peoples help. It's nothing against anyone. I fall, you
hold your hand out to help me up, chances are, I'm not
gonna take it. I don't know how to let people take care
of me. But, that's just a part of me, I guess.

So, there you have it. I've always been that weird loner
kid. The weird homeschooled kid. And basically, now that
everyone is moved out, an "only child".

I may seem a little distant. And hard to understand.
It might be hard for me to tell you things,
but that's just how it is. It's always been me. Only me.

I walk alone, but you can feel free to walk beside me.
If you surprise me and stay by my side, maybe just
maybe I'll let you know my heart.

-Ms. Conduit

Bring it all into perspective
The tongue will steer the ship ahoy
Spark up a flame
Feel the pain of habanero sauce
A word's forever
When we speak we set 'em free
So watch your mouth
And you be careful what you say, Jimmy

Sorry I'm not your cup o'tea
But I don't mind
Yeah, I said I don't mind
At least I know you're thinking about me
Yeah, I don't mind
-Newsboys

And just when you think you really know a person.
I've come to learn that we can't read someones heart.
No one can read someone else's heart. (Except God,
but that's besides the point.) You can spend as long
as you like with someone, but you still can't know their
intentions for sure. In fact, they might not even know
their own intentions. You can think something is one
thing, when in reality, it's another. Things can
change in an instant, to the opposite of what you
expected. As much as I wish I knew what was on
anothers heart, I don't. You can never know who
has good intentions, or who has intentions to slowly
destroy you. This is where trust comes into play.
Trust. Such a simple word, but yet everyone has
problems with it. Almost everyone says "Oh, you'll
never get to know me. I have trust problems." We
all do. We've all been hurt in some way. Some of
us more than others, but hurt nonetheless. I really
don't know where I'm going with this. I'm not afraid
of trusting someone. I just hate how it always turns out
in the end. But maybe, just maybe someone will surprise
me someday.

Oh, p.s. Mind. Blown.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The world?
Amazing. Still mind blown.
I may watch it again today.

So the other night I got to thinking, about a trip
to ATF two or three years ago. One of my old friends
was tagging along with me with the crew I went
with. A southern boy who was very quiet immediately
bonded with her on the ride back. I was a bit upset.
I mean, I was chatting with him at first. He said he
was depressed and then started telling me his life
story and how he smokes and so on and so forth.
Well, I tried to help him by talking about God, I mean,
we had just left a christian convention. And God is
always the correct answer. As I'm babbling on, and
quoting bible verses left and right, he stops me to
ask a question. "Are you a pastors daughter?"
*facepalm*. My reply "No... I'm not." Lawl. "Well,
you seem like one. You know, with the whole..
"God is the answer", sitting in the front row at
church, actually listening thing. You know?" -_-
No, I don't know. So anyway, my "friend" started
talking to him, and they conversed about how much
their lives suck. So, I went and sat somewhere else,
while they did that. Sometimes I just don't understand
people. But yet, I understand them all too well.

I'm just insane I guess.

-Ms. Conduit

People need to post more often. I need things to creep on.
And things to inspire me so I can think of things to say on here
myself. I'm trying to do like, 20 more posts before January
1st. I don't think I'll torture you guys by doing that. But at
least I tried my best. And I didn't get to 100 followers either.
I guess those were too high of hopes :P

Kid, I lied.
I actually don't have more important
things to do than oogle over pictures
of you. xD

"You think I'm speaking badly of you,
when in reality it's the other way around.
You've always been so self centered,
Brian. It was something you always tried
to hide, by putting yourself down. When
really, all you've ever cared about is
yourself. I fell for your little game.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool
me twice? Shame on me."
Hannah to Brian;
in my book "My Life as Defined"

You'll call back in 10 minutes,
lol. It's been an hour. But that's
okay kid, I'll put up
with it, just for you. :P

Dear King David(from the bible),
thank you for the Psalms. I think
you and I woulda been pretty good
friends if you were around now.
Like me, you always had someone against
you. But as it's written "if God is for us
who can be against us?" You were a
man after God's own heart. And I hope
to soon be able to be thought of so highly
by the creator of the universe. You made
your mistakes, and fell away from God
sometimes. Just like I have at times.
Your way of loving God was with worship.
Just like me. I guess I just wanna say
thanks for leaving the Psalms for me to
read. They have been helping me immensely
through the past few days.
Sincerely,
Me.

Oh, got my phone call before finishing this blog.

"Go to a window."
.........
"Why?"
.........
"So we can look at the stars
together."

Oh kid. Even though you ditched me,
you're still awesome.
P.s. you're my best friend. ♥

Church tomorrow, but maybe at a church in town.
Depends. We'll see what happens.

"I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor, but you are not mine." -The Corpse Bride

I changed my blogger link from my infamous
"Ilikesassafrass.blogspot.com" to my online name.
ChristinaConduit.blogspot.com.
Why? Simply because I think it will get rid of
the people who are just on my blog thinking
these posts are about them. P.s. if you think
these posts are about you, any of them at all,
you're far too vain for me. ♥

“Although my heart may be weak, it’s not alone. It’s grown with each new experience, and it’s found a home with all the friends I’ve made. I’ve become a part of their heart just as they’ve become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then… If they don’t forget me… Then our hearts will be one. I don’t need a weapon. My friends are my power!” ~Sora~

"The heart may be weak, and sometimes it may even give in. But I've learned that deep down there's a light that never goes out. I know, without a doubt, Kingdom Hearts...is light!"-Sora


A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory.
A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream.
I want to line a pieces up--
yours and mine. -Sora

When darkness surrounds you, don't give up.
Keep fighting until you find your way to the light.
Everybody has a meaning in the world.
But everybody's meaning is in the path of light.

"Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience.
You might not hear it, but right now it's loud and clear.
And it's telling me you're on the wrong side!"-Sora

"I made a promise, and even though I don't know who you are, I feel like I need to keep that promise." Sora


Dear Sora,
You should become a real person so
that we can live happily ever after together.
That is all.
Sincerely,
me

-Ms. Conduit

Whatever helps you sleep
at night, kid.

I wish the world could understand.
I have far too high of standards for this world.
That's what people tell me.
I've been called
stuck up.
many words that I will not repeat.
narrow minded.
and brain washed.
Why?
Because I love God, and thus
my standards are too high for this
world.

I don't cuss.
But not just that,
I don't like it when
people cuss around me.
And I make that known when
people start talking to me.
Sometimes they find it hilarious and
start throwing all kinds of cuss words
around. And then when I say they're
rude, I apparently am a
stuck up princess.

I hate it when people say I'm
"fu**ing sexy". Even just the word
sexy irritates me, but adding the F word
to it makes it exponentially worse.
And again, I'm a stuck up princess for
not accepting a lovely compliment such
as that one?
Excuse me. A compliment is,
"You look nice." or "You're pretty."
Or even "You look beautiful."
Not "Dang baby you look effin' sexxxyyyy."
Sorry, but that completely turns me off.

Oy vey, people are just ridiculous.
I could list about a billion other things.
I've made my mistakes. I'm not perfect.
But now that I've made it to where I am,
my standards will never be lowered again.
Not for you, not for the world.

I'm the "good christian girl". (that's a joke,
I've always gotten called that but I have my
share of stupid things I've done just like
everyone else. But for some reason, that name
still hangs onto me).
I don't drink. I don't cuss. I don't smoke and never
will. Never will I do drugs. I'm saving my virginity
for my husband. And those are just the simpler things.
Lately I've got even more "narrow minded" and
"brain washed". As people like to say about me.
I don't make fun of people. Someone will be like
"wow that person is so fat." I won't join in. I won't
say a word. I may say "that's mean." But other than
that, nothing. Lately, I've learned how to not judge
people. There's no reason to judge someone. We're
all human beings. And in case you didn't know,
that means we ALL have feelings. We're all just
trying to be happy. And sometimes we make mistakes
and hurt other people trying to get there.
Well I'm not going to do that anymore.
I don't care what you do to me.

You can have this whole world,
but give me Jesus. ♥

-Ms. Conduit

Oh my gosh.
What a day. To try to explain it
would be too much.
The. Mall.
Oh lawdy. Too much fun there.

Walmart? that was interesting
to say the least.

But in the end, my world is still turning.
The world hasn't stopped. I'm still breathing.
Life is going on like it always does.

You won't stop me.

"You're scared of the future, yet you're terrified
of your past. You know where that leaves me?
In your now. Simply because it seems that now is
the only thing you aren't afraid of."
Jeremiah to Hannah in my book "My Life as Defined"

Kid,
thank you. You bring color to the dullness.
I may be a little worried, but you're breaking
me free from that.

When you try to fit two puzzle pieces together
that don't fit, it just doesn't work. Even if they basically
fit, and you just have to push a little harder it doesn't
go that way. The picture will never be complete if you
force the wrong pieces together.
So, keep trying until you find the right piece. Because
somehow, two different pieces will work together so
much better than the pieces that were forced. They're
meant to go in a certain design. To create a much more
beautiful picture.

"And in the moment,
I swear we were infinite."

-Ms. Conduit

Oh, you're cool. You're real cool.
Now you look like the bad guy, and
I look like the good guy.
You mad bro? x)

Don't play games with a girl
who can play them better.

I was going to start making my new years resolutions today,
but you know what? I'm going to put it off til the night before.
Because that's what I do.

Oh my goodness, I am tired. Not like, pass out fall
asleep tired. Just a bit sluggish I guess. But so worth it.
I feel like I'm worth something. And I know I am, it's
just people don't show me too often. Sure, I get compliments
all the time. But no one really takes the time to break my
walls down, and find out things that aren't known of me.
Things that I don't even know. And then still care about me?
Kid, you're something else.

P.s. I still always win. I'm allergic to losing.

So, I really wanna buy something. I think I might
try to go shopping later on or something. I need to
waste some money x)

I don't have much that I want to say right now,
I'm sure you can tell. But somehow I'm sitting here
rambling on about nothing. You know? I'm weird.

I won't tell you how to live your life,
So please stay far away from mine. -MCS

"You'd look good with my arm around
you." Pfft, as if I haven't heard that one a
million times before. Actually, I haven't.
But still.

So yeah.

-Ms. Conduit

Hell fear me, I am the one who will bring you down.

"Don't be so vain, you think far too highly of yourself.
I've got more important things to do than to gossip to
others about your business that I could care less about."
-Hannah, from the book I'm writing "My Life as Defined" ©

You know, today was good. I enjoyed some church, which
was great. Came home and played some praise songs and
really got into it. Suddenly, sleepiness fell upon me. So,
I took a nap. Which ended up being 3 hours. My sister and
her friend then came over. She asked if she could check her
facebook, and then took forever so I went downstairs.
That show, "Minute to win it" is enough to give a person major
depression. It gives me a heart attack just watching it,
I can't imagine actually being on the show playing the game.
Anywho, then I got muh phone call early. Which lasted 18
minutes. Kid, your family watches wayyy too many movies
together. But that's okay, you said you'd call later.

Never let your blessings become more important
than Jesus, the one who gave them to you in the first place.
-Me

This has been a long weekend. I'm so ready for the new week,
and even better, the new year. I said I was gonna win in 2010,
I don't know what I'm gonna do in 2011 Uh... I'll think of a clever
2011 slogan. Just give me some time.

So, it seems like everyone suddenly wants to hang out
with me. We're working around my suddenly busy schedule,
so now January is swamped. Way to start the new year.
January 8th? Gonna be the best day. Well, maybe. I'm not
sure if that'll beat January 11th when the new kingdom hearts
comes out. I loooove kingdom hearts. Sorry, kid. :P

"What happened to your bike?"
......
"I lost it."
.....
"How can you lose a bike??"

*Christmas day, mom and dad downstairs
Sarah and I upstairs creepin' on peoples facebooks.*
Dad: "You got a wang?"
Mom: "Yes I did."
*Sarah and I look at each other with
serious faces..*
Me: Lololololing.
Sarah: lolololing.

Ah, I should write a book about the things
that take place in the Shumard house. It'd be
interesting to say the least.

"Christizzle... Shanizzle... we're terrible at this."
Lawlz. ShaLacey trying to pick out gangster names
for us.

Hell, fear me. I am the one that will bring you down.
And when you fall, feel me. You'll see my face on the battleground.
Let my name be feared at the gates of hell, as I exalt the savior.
The One that died to buy my victory, and gave me a new name.
In the name of the Holy One of God,
I will cast you down at the foot of the cross He hung from.
I will stand beside my Savior, as He burns your kingdom down.
And I will see you on your knees, before the King of kings.
You will lose your throne to the chosen ones, the chosen ones will rise.
-Devastator

Love the lyrics, but the screaming music frightens me x)
But really, this song. Hell, fear me. I don't fear hell, for I know
I belong to Jesus and have a place in heaven. Hell fears me,
because I'm out to save the lost souls. I'm out on the battleground.
Exalting Jesus, all the way.

Sounds like thunder
The earth is shaking
A generation is marching strong

We will not be stopped
Our voices will be heard
Let the nations hear our song

Oh oh, this is our war cry
Oh oh, this is our battle cry.
-Michael Gungor

There's passion pouring out of me,
and I'm going to use it for the only One who
can save me. Jesus Christ. Nothing else is
worth my passion, my heart, my soul.
I'm in love with my creator, and I belong
to Him. I'm not perfect, just forgiven ♥

Hell. Fear me.

-Ms. Conduit

Okay. I freakin' love Christmas.

So, I sang some songs for Jesus,
took a shower.. and awaited the arrival of
people. Ended up opening my presents
before anyone came over.
I got swagga. (;
New coat, 3 hats, shirt, books, gloves,
$25 gamestop card hecky yeah.
And when my sister got here,
freaking CHRONO TRIGGER!
I love my sister.

My siblings had an epic lightsaber duel with
my lightsabers. I started to take out my video
camera, and they immediately stopped.
The force is with me (;

Uhh, ham loaf isn't so good, but I ate
it anyway.

We're talking about the terrible things
we all did to each other when we were younger.
I got locked in a dog cage and was forced
to eat hot cheetos when I was a child x)

So, I have to go socialize though I'm trying
to avoid that. heh heh.

P.s. Santa, you forgot something.

-Ms. Conduit

...Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.


So, today was interesting. I went to sit down in my computer chair
while opening a text, and the chair broke with me on it. I sat on the floor
on a broken chair for 3 minutes trying to comprehend what just
happened. Lolololol. It's like everything is back to the way it should be.

God is so amazing. King of endless worth, no one could express,
how much You deserve. Though I'm weak and poor, all I have
is Yours, every single breath.♥

"you're going to call? aren't you tired though?
you had a long day."
..............
"..it's worth it."

:)

Happy birthday Jesus!!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
And so on and so forth.
I love You. With all that I've
got.

"He's climbin' in yo windows,"
....
"He's snatching yo people up!"
....
"What are you talking about?"
....
"The rapist in linkin' park."
....
"I'm talking about Santa Claus."
Roflololol. ♥

Oh heey,
phones ringing.
Merry Christmas/ Jesus' birthday/ Happy holidays/
whatever the heck you celebrate, blogger folks!
:D

-Ms. Conduit

Christmas Eve :D

Merry Christmas Eve people :)
I ♥ you all. Thank you for reading my blog.
I'm happy that it somehow entertains you.
Or makes you want to rip your eyes out. Or
makes you laugh at how weird I am. Or just
makes you smile because I'm just that awesome.
Either way, I'm glad it does something for you
=P

Jesus' birthday is tomorrow! How awesome is
that? My birthday yesterday, went interesting.
I had to hide my facebook wall so people would
quit saying happy birthday. I really, really don't
like all that and stuff I guess. Either way, they
spammed up my statuses with happy birthday
comments. But oh well. Ha. Jesussssss! :D

So yeah. Ha.

Kid,
Okay. I'm starting to believe you.
Just stick with me, and I'll be convinced.
Either way, you're hilarious. And it's
fun to spend so much time chatting with you.

Everyone else,
you can just do whatever the heck
you want because I'm staying out of
your drama. :P

Jesus,
Happy birthday. I wish I had something
of worth to give you, but you already own
everything. And it's not like I have anything
to tell you that someone else hasn't already
said before. But I'm going to give you my
heart once more, and sing to you with all
I've got. You've always been there for me,
you've always loved me, you've always got
me out of ridiculous situations. You're just,
amazing. Thank you for creating me and
loving me even though you know everything
about me and it probably makes you sad occasionally.
I'm trying my best. Thank you for not giving
up on me when everyone else has. ♥

Kingdom hearts recoded? January 11th?
Oh hallelujah! I've been so ready for more
KH. But where the heck is KH3? Hurry up
and make the game, people. Please. :)
This one is for DS, but I gotta admit they
did a pretty good job with the last KH for
DS. Plus, Sora's in this one. The first man
I loved, the only man I'll love xP
Yes, he's an animated fictional character.
So what?

I told my secret. And nothing changed.
I thought it would be the end of the world.
It wasn't. Thanks for that.

Ah, time for some holiday cheer.

-Ms. Conduit

You hate the theatre,
And I'm up for best actor
But I can't remember who I'm
trying to impress
The stage is frightening, and it's
tightening, and it's getting much
tighter
How did I get into,
Can you get me out of the show?

-Jimmy Needham

I sang for the old folks. It went decently.
Then I went shopping all day. Worn out dude.
Haha, whilst driving I saw a guy jamming out
in his car like a doof, so I started dancing too,
we looked at each other and just went crazy
dancing. It was wonderful. Not to mention on
the way home I saw shoes, a towel, a shirt, and
other different pieces of clothing on the road.
Needless to say, I don't want to know. x)

Today was long man. My favorite part of my days
lately hasn't even happened yet. I'm not sure it will.
It could very well, I mean it's only 10pm now. But,
meh. I found two lightsabers at goodwill for $1 each.
Can you say score? For the win! I think that's really
all I got lawlz. And I danced around and messed around
in stores while some guys stalked me. lololol. Fun times.

Somehow, I'm really seeing things in a new way. Like, even
the songs I listen to all the time. I'm suddenly finding new
messages in them. The things people say to me, I'm hearing
them in many different ways. And I'm thinking maybe, just
maybe this isn't going to turn out badly. :)

Dear KFC,
After how your food made me feel today,
I don't think I'll be eating it again. Thank you
for the all day bloated painful stomach feeling.
/Sigh.

Dear people who parked in the car beside me at giant eagle,
Please get a room. I understand that you just "can't resist"
each other, but really. Have more decency. -.- lawl.

I'm tired. Tomorrow is gonna be awesome. I don't feel
like waiting up too late tonight.

-Ms. Conduit

Just had to say that God is awesome.
Last night, I was being silly and I prayed
that He'd fix my ipod. Today, I woke up
and it's working. Thanks for the birthday
present, Jesus ♥

He even answers my silly prayers.
That makes me feel really happy inside.
Today is going to be awesome. I think
I've had maybe a total of 4 hours of sleep.
I could be sleeping still, but I'm just too
excited.

Actually, I suddenly am really tired. X_x

-Ms. Conduit

I rock worlds ♥

I look like a lil' rockstar. Lawlz. ♥

Isn't it nice to know,
That the lining is silver?
And isn't it nice to know,
That we're golden,
woah. -Relient k

Singing tomorrow. Had an amazing night.
"Christina, I like you. Marry me! *click*."
Lolol. Kid, you are hilarious.

I really liked the sermon tonight. From now on, I think I will only believe God and my pastor. I may be taking that out of context, but meh.
It's not like people tell me good things too often that I should believe anyway. Ha. Friday is Christmas eve.

S: "You look hot."
*Cayla walks over*
Cayla: "You look hot."
S: "That's what I said."
Cayla: "Too bad we're not
lesbians."
Me: LOLING. x)
Apparently I look hot, lawlz.

My ipod won't turn on. I think it's broken.
I've had it since I was 12. R.I.P. iPod :(
Hopefully on Christmas bubby comes over
and can fix it. Or someone can just get
me a new one for my birthday? (: ha.

Oh, psh shooot. It's almost midnight. Phone
call time. :D

-Ms. Conduit

Lalala.

You walk in the room with style, you're so smooth
Trying to be charming, trying to put on the moves
I just have to laugh and say I refuse
You're so pathetic, I'm born to win not lose
I don't have time for the likes of you.
-Me ©

Dear spoiled and egotistical people,
You get your own way. You insist your own way.
You believe you're the greatest thing to walk this earth.
You think you deserve anything you want. You think
people will build their plans around yours. Well,
let me tell you; that's not the way it goes. So I'm gonna
tell you, get over yourselves. The world isn't out to get
you, we're all much too worried about our own selves.
People kiss your feet when you kick them because they're
total suckers. But then when someone who isn't a sucker
or feet kisser calls you out on your selfishness, you get
angry. Why is that? Have you never been told, are you
blissfully unaware? I won't kiss feet. I won't carry your
load for you. You think you can have anything you want?
Wrong. You can't have me. (;

You think it's cute when I'm angry?
You have another thing coming, kiddo.

Besides, I don't get angry. That, was simply irritation.
You don't want to see me angry. But you don't have to
worry about it. Because I'm slow to speak, quick to listen,
and slow to get angry. Just like the bible says. ♥

I wrote two new songs today. And have music for them.
I've got inspiration dripping out my pores.
I might actually get to go to church tomorrow. I didn't
think I could at first, but now it's possible. So, church tomorrow.
Singing Thursday, who knows what on Friday, Jesus' birthday
Saturday. Heck. Yes. I'm finally getting excited about Christmas.
At first I didn't feel anything. Now, it's kind of exciting. O:

I'm so happy. I've got a phone call coming in an hour.
I'm gonna pick out more songs for my song list tomorrow.
I have 3 energy drinks in the fridge ♥ Songs and poems
keep coming out, and I don't know why. I got to see the
amazing lunar eclipse last night. Even though I was out of
it and mumbled silly romantic things to myself while staring
at the red moon surrounded by a billion stars.

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”
- Josh Billings

Ah, phone call time soon. Goodnight dear blogger.

-Ms. Conduit

All those other girls, well they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you?
-Taylor Swift. bahah! =]

Oh. 5 days til Christmas.
Shoot. It doesn't even feel like
it.

This is pretty irrelevant,
but I broke my B guitar string
today. >.< I put a new one on it,
so it's okay now.

No need to hide anything anymore,
I can't return to who I was before.

-Anberlin

I know what you did last summer. x)
But no, really.
don't think you're so clever. You've been
predictable since the moment I saw you.
I was just too blinded to notice before.
Thank you. And get on with the third thing
already, please. Lawlz.

I still don't have a full song list that I'm going
to do Thursday. So far the only songs I've picked
are..
1. Joy to the world.
2. Amazing grace.
3. In Christ alone.
Other than that, I don't know. I have to sing
for like, 45 minutes. So.. I guess I'll resort to a
bunch of Taylor Swift songs? =P

Oh my goodness. I'm just really happy right now.
It doesn't much feel like it's almost Christmas,
but I've surely got the holiday cheer.

Dude. 2011 needs to be here already.
I'm so ready for January. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And also January 31st- February 4th.
I'm headed out to Texas those days,
yesh. I'm gonna roam around Texas.
Woot! But, something more exciting than
that is going to happen in January.
But it's a secret. Not that you blog readers
care :P

Just to let you know,
I don't care anymore. I don't care what you
think I am. I thought we were cool but you
seem to be showing me otherwise. That's okay,
I'll be your friend if you ever decide that you
meant what you said. But in the meantime, don't
think you know me. You don't. And you probably
won't. Just to make this clear; I was wrong.
About a few things. There.

Kid,
I'm still smiling.
:D

Dear Jesus,
could You please help time
pass a little quicker for me?
Amennn!

I'm crazy. Goodness... I don't usually put
special things to people that won't read them
in my blog. It's kinda lame. Oh well.

Why do people feel the need to fix things with violence?
It doesn't fix things anyways. Sigh.
Why do people have to be so negative? It's plain
out ridiculous.
You win or lose, by the way you choose.

Well let me tell you,
I win. Because I choose Jesus.
And the things that Jesus chooses
for me. Some people lose. Because
they choose things for themselves
instead of letting Jesus choose. It's
all about whatever makes them
happy at the time. Don't worry,
I used to be that way too. Soon
enough, if you're mature enough
and know what's right you'll get
past it.

Uh oh. I should stop while I'm ahead.

-Ms. Conduit (;

Better than revenge ♥

Why do you look so familiar?
I could swear that I have seen your face before.
I think I like that you seem sincere.
I think I'd like to get to know you a little bit more.
I think there's something more,
Life's worth living for

Who knows, what could happen
do what you do just keep on laughing
one things true, there's always a brand new day.
I'm gonna live today like it's my last, day.
-Avril Lavigne.

Yes, I like Avril Lavigne. Don't hate on me for it.
I am who I am. I finally realize that fact, and I thank
God for it.

Kid,
oh goodness. thank you. thank you!
I'll probably be smiling for the whole
next week now. thanks. =P

Stealing other peoples toys on the
playground won't make you many friends.
-Taylor Swift.

Next year can't come fast enough.
This year was awesome, but I believe
the next one will be even better.
Smart Christina has returned for
good, and I won't be stupid again.
P.s. you; I'm not stupid. So don't think
you're cool saying I am. I understand
more than you ever will, and it's funny
I'm younger. Don't judge me.

I'm too tired to think anymore right now.
Tomorrow is another good day.

P.s., Hey God,
thanks. =]

-Ms. Conduit

Church was grand.
Ivana got me hair bows ♥
Kimberly finally gave
me the "best friend" necklace
she said she had for me like
3 months ago xP
I put it on then just to make
her feel good even though it
didn't match my dress. hehe.

Kid,
you need to reply to texts
quicker. Just sayin'.

:)

I'm happy to be in the truth,
and daily I will lift my hands,
for I will always sing of when
Your love came down, yeah.
-Hillsongs.

Good day, so far.
Good day forever.

-Ms. Conduit

I wasn't all too impressed.
Just sayin'.

I somehow realized, my life has become a lot
like kingdom hearts. Okay, I know it's a video
game and practically everything in it is impossible,
but... Sora lived an average boring life. Dreaming
of adventure. He had his two best friends. Havoc
wrecked, and then one of his friends went to the
darkness, and the other was nowhere to be found.
Sora chose the right path; or rather the right path
chose him. The average life was gone, his friends were
missing, but he had new friends, he was on a mission
to help the worlds and find his friends. So anyway..
in the end the darkness starts to overtake him. But he's
so strong in the light that he does his best to fight it. He's
in the darkness, but he hasn't lost his mind. He starts to
forget everything. Who he was, his friends... but then he
heard a voice. And it brought him back.

I was lost in the darkness. The darkness of people. They made
me forget who I was, what I love, ect. But then, I heard a voice.
Your voice. It brought me back.

I freakin' love kingdom hearts. And I love my life.

Man, I have church tomorrow again. Already. It's like, before the
days were dragging on. Now it seems as though they're going fast.
Either way, it's fun. Ivana and Tamra get their Christmas presents
tomorrow. :) since I won't be at church on Wednesday that I know
of. Too much to do, so little time.

Thursday needs to hurry. I'm so ready to sing for the old folks.
Christmas needs to get here. I'm so ready to sing happy birthday
to Jesus. ♥

You are the night light ripping through my wicked world,
how you make it sparkle and glow. -Motion City Soundtrack.

There's always the voice that brings you back.
Never forget that.

-Ms. Conduit

"I was lost in the darkness. I couldn't find my way. As I stumbled through the dark, I started forgetting things-my friends, who I was. The darkness almost swallowed me. But then I heard your voice..."-Sora

Sleeep ♥

:)
It's nice to know that people actually care.

I've now got another novel idea. And a name.
Goodness gracious, can I have stick with one
project at once?

Writing a bit more, than reading my bible,
than bed. You'll turn me into a morning person
yet.

Christmas Cantata at Trinity tomorrow. It'll be
cool to see some of my old friends. And my broferr
Teddy maybe. ♥

Sooo ready for Thursday. Not because it's my birthday,
but because I can't wait to sing againnn. I still have to pick
out more songs to do, oy oy.

Christina is contented.
:D

-Ms. Conduit

Whoever calls another believer a fool,
will answer for it in hellfire. I believe the
bible says that, child. Watch what you
say.

So, in other news it's snowing again.
I'm pretty happy with it. As I sit in my
room with the heater amped up,with
a cup of coffee, and playing
my guitar and singing into my microphone.
Baha. I can't wait to go out there though.
:D

Tomorrow, I guess I'm going to a Cantata at
Trinity. Sounds alright with me. Should be interesting
to say the least.

You know, I think people would be a lot less rude
if the internet didn't exist. But then again, I'd be kinda
doomed without it. I mean, all my music and writing
has to be done on here. Just saying though. Even if
I quit facebook, people would still be rude on the internet.
Plus, I wouldn't give up facebook which I love, because
of people. Hey rude people, I loooooooooooooove you!
Because I love my enemies, just like the bible says.
;D

So. yeah.

-Ms. Conduit

Another poem I wrote.

Yet another lame poem by me.
P.s. don't steal, I've got copyright on all
my junk, and if you try to take credit
for it I'll get you in court ;D

© untitled, December 16th.
By: Christina Shumard

I don't get even, I don't get mad
I may never tell, but sometimes I'm truly sad.
Always hid it with a painted smile,
No one ever noticed because they never stayed awhile.
There's no reason to burden someone,
With my petty problems, or the things I've done.
I'll run so fast I can overcome
But what if I've been outrun?
I never knew who I truly was,
But now that I know, will it ever be enough?
I had always let others define me,
But now the truth I can clearly see.
I was no one but a cheap illusion,
Of the world, the darkness made an intrusion.
But now my heart I've taken back,
Never again to be stolen never again will I lack.
The things I thought I needed to get me by
Were nothing more than false truths, nothing more than lies.
I've let them go with a bittersweet goodbye.
And I've made a move on with my life.
I know someday I will find my destiny,
Somewhere out there within the light.
Not between the lines of wrong and right,
Because deep down I know the truth is black and white.
I will be destined for something new,
Something real and something true.
What it will be, I'm still unsure
But everyday my eyes are opened a little more.
I don't know why things are this way,
But I know tomorrow is forever a new day.


-Ms. Conduit

Gibberish..

So,
Finally I'm home. Oh my word,
today was long. I was at the mall til
like 5pm. From 11am. And then I went
to Canton and went to Toys r us. Don't
judge me! The cool thing is, I found a
microphone stand. Which totally rocks,
because on my birthday I'm singing
at a nursing home for the old folks and
desperately needed a mic stand since
I can't play guitar and hold a mic. So
that was cool. And oh my goodness.

Kid, you're so funny. I don't get offended
or upset. I just get hurt, and I don't admit it
to people. But it really made my life when you
called me because you thought you offended
me over something so silly. And though it
was a 3 minute conversation, it made my
whole flippin' day. Even though I was already
having a cool day.

But today was so long. Goodness gracious I'm
kinda out of it. I had a mocha freeze earlier, and
then candy... and I was bouncing around for a
while. Then lost it. Now, I have an energy drink.
That way, I can talk on the phone tonight. Maybe.
Who knows.

So,
yeah.

-Ms. Conduit

Blessed and Highly Favored. ♥

So, silly me again didn't save my chapter outlines for

"Perfect Harmony".

Today I woke up and my computer had been restarted.

-___-

Oh well, third times a charm? Lawlz. So, oh my goodness.

Me, this girl right hur? Is a great big winner. Yes, I said

it again. Just because I had the most amazing day yesterday.

You better believe it dude. So, at first I didn't think I was

going to get to go to church. Then I did get to go. And it was

super awesomely incredible. And guess what else? Funny

shhtuff happened. LAWLZ. I flippin' win. Thank You Jesus!

Anywho, today I'm taking some of mum's old folks shopping.

Well, actually mum's taking them. I'm just tagging along so I

can buy myself something pretty. xD! I haven't been to the

mall in ages though, dude. And I haven't bought myself something

nice in ages. I have a really good feeling about today. And that's of

course because I'm surrounded by God's favor and people are going

to be awesome to me, just because I'm a light. I just have a good

feeling.

Heeeeyy,

Thanks for last night. I didn't imagine my day could of gotten

any better, but even a quick chat with you helped. So hilarious

dude. I'll even get you a hippopotamus for Christmas, just like

you wanted. x)

Hey Jesus,

You are awesome. So, so awesome. You continually make my days

better and better as long as I keep on track with Your will and not my

own. Your favor surrounds me like a shield. Just like this book

"Your Best Life Now" says, everyday I am going to proclaim the Your

favor over my life. Good things shall happen. God, I just love You.

You're the only thing I'll never give up on or be mad at. You're the one

for me, God. And I'm alright with that for now. ♥

So, the sun is rising. I think I'll go watch it and be surrounded by

favor today. :D

-Ms. Conduit

I'm so weird... but you love it.

From my Mind

just a rant from the mind of Christina Conduit

By: Christina Conduit

Google Chrome

Oh my lawdy. First, Google Chrome, is amazing. I mean, I added a background thing

on it.. and now where I type to go to websites, the letters are all colorful and rainbow-y.

It's wonderful. It makes me happier. Did you know the bright colors make people happier?

True story. Not to mention, Google Chrome tells me when I spell something incorrect.

That makes me very happy. On any website it tells me this, so I can save myself from

ever misspelling a word. Is that not the most wonderful thing? All in all, I'm glad I switched

to Google Chrome.

Perfect Harmony

Yeah, the book I'm working on, well you see I had the whole chapter outlines written

on notepad. Well, I hadn't saved it yet. It was just sitting on here for me to work on, and

suddenly my mother got on the computer and it crashed. Thus, destroying all my wonderful

work. Okay, maybe it's not all that wonderful. Needless to say, I was bummed out. I rewrote it though, and changed up my story. I'm sure it happened for a reason so it's not so bad. Chapter one is happily finished, not yet edited though. But I figure once I finish my book I'll go back and edit everything of course. I'm really excited about the direction this story is going. It's going to be amazing. I'm not trying to be self-centered though. It's just a good story. I amaze myself sometimes ;P

Christmas

Christmas is almost here. And strangely enough, it doesn't really feel like it. You know? Ah I dunno. It's just different I suppose. I just wanna glorify Jesus, and be thankful for what He did for me. Coming down to this sad, corrupt earth to die for me. I don't think I would of. If I had the glory of heaven I mean, I wouldn't want to leave. Uh, anyways. Christmas. It doesn't feel like the holidays this year I suppose. But maybe it will when I give my friends their presents and they smile and whatnot. Hopefully.

Women

Okay. Let me just say something, women are amazing. So I was watching the news with my dad. A cop pulled some guy over for some reason and the guy started trying to get the gun from the cop. They were struggling and the guy had almost gotten the cops gun, but they kept on struggling. And then out of nowhere, this AWESOME woman comes up and starts punching the bad guy in the head. Thus, helping the cop out and getting the bad guy. How freaking awesome is that? It made my whole day. I mean, people were driving by while this cop was struggling with said bad guy, but no one stopped to help. Except a woman. Awesomesauce.

Inspiration

Inspired? Heck yes I am. I've been writing and singing and everything lately. It's amazing. Before I was so frustrated because I wanted to write and inspiration was hard to find. Somehow it's all become so simple though. I don't know if it's the change of weather, or the way I've been blessed, or the holidays or what. But I'm totally loving it. I can finally work on all my projects.

Weechu

Lawlz.

Fam[ily]

"Hey Christina!" -mom

"WHAT!!!" -me

"Come here I wanna show you something"- Mom

"I wanna show you my fist lawlzzz! Just kidding"-me

I go downstairs to see the Christmas tree set

up, and dad wearing one of the Christmas things

around his head like one of those Roman leader

guys lololz. Good times with my dysfunctional family ♥

Easily Distracted

Oops, time for shopping and then to go to church,

goodbye blogger.

-Ms. Conduit :D

A GIANT RANT.

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean,
Why ya gotta be so mean? - Taylor Swift.

Oh my goodness, Taylor Swift I freakin'
love you. ♥

And oh my goodness, I'm speechless.
Not in a bad way though. Not in the
least. It seems like everything is going
my way. And it's still snowing! I'm so
gonna play in it by myself tomorrow.
xD yay for living in the middle of nowhere
with no other human life around.

It seems the unsaid words speak the most,
in good ways and bad ways. I'm getting both
of those right now. But more of the good ones,
because I'm a winner. I've always had a
knack for winning. In the end I always win.
I was born to win. Therefore, I am a winner.
In all the ways that matter most. Freakin'
awesome!

Also, I've been trying to remember this movie
for like two weeks now, with like a giant robot thing
and it's a cartoon. My friend just told me what it
was. "The iron giant". So happy about that. It's been
bugging me. I think I liked that movie... in the past.
I wanna watch it. Thanks Christopher. :P

And definitely digging how special I feel lately. I mean,
God's been helping me out. Raining down blessings and,
I've just been keeping my focus on Him. I got some new
friends. And a friend with a special connection. That's just
so weird. But, wow. I mean, I don't even know how to explain
my life lately.

It's like,
Things were dull, and I was just trying
to get through life on my own. I was trying
twice as hard to be satisfied, without God's
help. Oh, I mean I was living for Him. I just didn't
ask Him about the things I should of. I did without
asking. It didn't get me anywhere. Sigh. But!
Then,
I woke up one day. I prayed. I returned everything
to God. I've been asking before doing. And then,
bam. Awesome new friend with special odd weird
strange totally random neato connection.
And also, 2 hours or longer phone calls every night.
Just being able to talk about life, to learn things I could
never understand before. To talk about God, and share
different views. To... I don't know. It's so hard to explain.

I'm dancing around my house to my ipod. No one else but me
hears the music. They all think I'm weird, but I'm just having the
time of my life. I'm drinking coffee out of my new starwars mug and
just smiling. I'm dying to play in the snow, which was something I
never really wanted to do before but now it sounds incredible. I'm
still sitting on my porch in freezing cold weather, but totally being
fine with it. I'm reading my bible everyday, no matter if I put it off
til late and then want to just sleep, I do it regardless. I'm shouting out
praises. I'm starting to not care if people approve of who I really am.
I'm starting to find who I really am.

And that, is a broad subject in itself. Who. I. Am. This, is another thing.
My friend helped me figure out what my problem was. I mean, other people
had told me this same thing. But I didn't understand. I thought it was stupid.
Until my awesome friend who says things in a way I can understand, said
it in a whole new way. And I'm like, holy freakin' crap that's true. You see,
myself got lost. In a dark scary place called "people". Man, my eyes have just
been opening to so many things. If I'm not happy with myself, it's generally
because someone else is "better than me". I'm sure everyone just rolled their
eyes. But I mean, come on. It's totally true. Nothing else can make me more
unhappy with myself than someone else being chosen before me, being more
special than me, I don't know. You see, I've always been a back up plan for
people. But I am one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I'd deal with it,
if someone needs help I'll help them. If someone needs a friend when there's
no one "better" around, I'll be that friend. I let myself get lost in so much due
to people. Who I am? I'm figuring it out now. It can't be defined by another
person. I've finally realized that. Thank you to my friends, for always telling
me. Thank you to my sort of, favorite friend at this point in time, for telling
me in a way that I would understand and not roll my eyes at. I'm not here
to be cool anymore. I'm not here to worry about how I look anymore. I'm
not even here to impress you anymore. I'm here, to live life. And I'm here to
be happy with life. I'm here to have fun and live for God because it's what
makes me smile. I'm here to be okay with people laughing at me, if it's making
them laugh then... fine. I'm cool with it.

Life has become an unhappy thing for people. It was never meant to be
that way. All people are doing, is complaining about life. It's supposed to
be a happy thing. I'm gonna do my best to make people smile. I'm not gonna
be uptight. I don't need to impress anyone. Someone can see me and think
"wow, she's weird looking." or something. But then, you know what's gonna
happen? Absolutely nothing. I mean, what are they gonna do? Put on their
facebook status that they saw this weird girl? Probably not. They will forget
in only a matter of minutes. And then it won't matter. At all. Why did I ever
care so much about such silly things before? Why did I let people drag me
down?

It's all okay now. People won't stop me, but I won't stop them.
I'll do my best to help out, I'll make people laugh. I'll try to make
this life more enjoyable for others. But not to the point where I
don't even know who I am anymore. Too many people defined me.

You don't define me.
Who are you to tell me,
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you, who are you?
I don't need to listen,
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no I won't try.
-Barlowgirl

So I guess what I'm trying to say is,
I'm gonna be myself. Oh my gosh, isn't that so cheesy?
People always say "Be yourself" and I say "this is myself?"
But.. I guess I think about it in a new way now.
"Why try to be like someone else,
when you can only be yourself?"
I realized, when I don't feel pretty enough it's
because I see someone that I think is prettier than
me. So, I try to do my makeup and hair like theirs.
And generally, it's just not me. If I think someone
is cool, I add a little bit of their personality to mine.
And I do that with so many people. I've discovered,
I was a big mess of different peoples personalities,
all mixed up into one really strange person.
"No one can sing the song you do, be true be
legendary you."
No one can be what I am. So why oh why,
would I care so much about impressing other
people and take on others personalities and
traits? I was made this way for a reason. God
wants me to be who I am. And you know what
I'm going to do?
I'm gonna be myself. Even if you think it's
corny. ♥

So I'm gonna throw this out there.
Inner freakin' nerdom. I'm obsessed with
starwars. I love kingdom hearts more
than any person should. I could talk about
how that video game has changed my life
for hours on end. And apparently that's
something only guys can do mostly,
that's what my friend said anyways.
I'm a dork. I'll run around my house yelling
silly things. I talk to myself, more than a
normal person should. My mother thinks
I've lost it. But I, on the other hand, think
I've found it. I write poems about everything.
I have tons of them. I talked to someone for
basically the first time because I had a dream
about them. I took the risk of sounding really
weird and explained the dream. Somehow,
I explained some of their house. Without even
knowing. I believe it's a God-thing. A God given
friendship. Books are a Godsend, also. I don't know
what I would do without books. I read all the time.
I like weird books. Ones that most people have never
heard of. They'll be all "oh what's your favorite book
besides the bible?" and I'll go on and on about a series
they of course have never heard of. Books, are
awesome. I get grossed out by sappy couples, but yet
I love romance and tend to be sappy sometimes myself.
Well, actually I don't know about that. I remember
basically everything a person says. If there's a quote they
use a lot, I'll say it to them a few times just to make them
smile. I think possums are cute. Also, I don't mind it if my
cat eats a mouse. Because that's normal. But I think setting
mouse traps is a horrid thing, and I will never do it. I'd rather
the cat eat it. If someone says they'll call me back, I stay up
waiting until they do. I believe people when they say things
like that. It's the deeper stuff I find hard to believe. I eat.
All the flippin' time. Pretzel m&ms are amazing. I don't
understand why I'm not overweight. I'm almost always
eating. Um.. I play runescape. And I'm not afraid to admit
it, because I like runescape. It's fun to me. Everyone else
can tell me how lame it is and how lame I am for playing it,
but I don't give a crap. Another awesome thing about my
God-sent friend xP "You play runescape?!" ..."Yes, please
don't say I'm lame for it like everyone else does."..."No no!
you're not lame. that's really cool. I play it too, it's awesome."
Oh my goodness, I about fell out of my chair. A runescape liker.
Hard to find these days. I mean, outside of runescape. I don't
think I ever go to bed before midnight. And I usually wake up
at like noon. But lately, I've been going to bed late and waking up
at 9. Without an alarm. How awesome is that? And, I'm amazing
at the art of ranting for hours on end about nothing. Yeah. If you
need a ranter, I'm yo girl. I dunno, there's just so much I could
say about myself. I guess I'll tell more as I learn it. I'm learning
about people. I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about
life.

Adventure is all I've ever wanted while on this earth.

-Ms. Conduit