But the struggles make you

stronger, and the changes make

you wise, and happiness has its

own way of taking its sweet

time. Life ain't always

beautiful, but it’s a beautiful

ride.

The happiest people dont have it all
they just make the best of what they've got.

She's been down and out, She's been written about, She's been talked about, She's been up and down, She's been pushed around. She's been lost and found, She has no regrets; she accepts the past because all these things, they helped to make her who she is today.

Another poem I wrote...

I know people have given up on you before,
I know you've been betrayed.
And I know it's hard to take anymore,
Because no one ever stayed.
I wish I could make it all go away for you,
But it seems like there's nothing I can do.
Words may not be enough, but know one thing
I'll never give up on you, no matter what life brings.
And even if I can't always be there,
God will be, and I'll promise my prayers.
When I can be there I'll listen with everything in me
And I'll do my best to help you see.
I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying so much
To show that I care and to be a crutch
When the weight of the world is too much to bear
I'll help you get through it I swear.
Because I love you, and though life has demands
We can make it through, in God's hands.

-Ms. Conduit

Complaining is not an option.
Letting out my feelings in writing is.

So, I've wrote two songs today,
and finished three tracks for the new
musical I'm working on.
For my new musical, I'm rewriting
owl city songs. Three tracks in one
day!
Needless to say I'm proud of myself.

Writing keeps me from falling apart.
Well, not writing alone. Jesus Christ,
keeps me from falling apart. The writing
just helps me get my feelings out.

But anyway.. yeah.
I don't know.

-Ms.Conduit

At the top of my lungs
At the end of my rope
When there's nothing to lose
and I'm fresh outta hope

You surround me
You surround me
You surround me

Everytime I try,
Everytime I fail
You surround me
You surround me

-The swift

Giving up is the wimps way out.

Something I wrote.

God I need You,
You're my only hope
Show me what to do,
Sometimes I think I'm at the end of my rope.
Life is too much,
This I've come to learn.
It's hard to discern.
Who's real, who's not?
Takes too much time that I haven't got.
I've tried to reach out,
telling them love is what You're about.
The world screams lies,
As the broken people cry.
I'm fighting back with what's true,
Cause God I know it's You.
The only one who can save them
You're worth more than gold or priceless gems.
You're the savior of this world,
You cut through the ties with a sword.
It's time to let go, and let God.
He comforts with His staff and rod.
His arms are the only place to run,
when You've come undone.
He's always there.
So cry out to God, He actually hears.


-Ms. Conduit

And after all this time that you still owe,
you're still a good for nothing I don't know.


If there’s a place that I could be
Then I’d be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me


MCR, Na-na-na-ing all night long
brotha. (:

-Ms. Conduit

So, I didn't end up going to church last night.
But! I did spend the night at my other house
and help with dock day today.
Well, help.. haha I came late and watched people take
the docks out and laughed.
It was so amusing though. I entertained.
Talked to some old friends.
Then after that was done I played guitar
and then Seth asked if I wanted to go on a walk
so we did. For 2 hours.
And talked. It was pretty cool.

I kinda witnessed to him.

On the way home, dad and I stopped at goodwill.
There was an etch a sketch in the toy section.
Check out what I did. ^^^
That, right thur is beastly.


-Ms. Conduit

You, Me, and God.
Together we can make it through
anything.

Whilst cleaning my room,
I found a note in the back of
one of my notebooks from
my wonderful friend Ivana.

"Christina Shumard,
you're amazing! I loooooove you!
You're my best friend and God works
in you! I'll never forget the laughs we
have had together and the fun times we
have. I love your laugh and I love our
talks. I know I can trust you with
anything and that means a lot. You're
beautiful on the outside and in. I love you
so much! And I'm so glad Jacob found you!
Love, Ivana =D"

Isn't that just the sweetest thing?
God blesses me with the most awesome friends.
I love Ivana so much. She's a really good friend.

I found many other notes while cleaning my room,
but this one meant the most to me. Because it
wasn't just about me helping someone and how
they appreciated it.. and it wasn't someone just
saying hey.. Ivana thought of me. I didn't even
have to do anything but be myself. Usually before
people do nice things, they expect something
from me. And it just means a lot to me.
I love Ivana, and all my other awesome friends.

♥
-Ms. Conduit

Cleaning.
Cleaning and reading.
That's what's happened to me for the
past.. oh I dunno, 2 or 3 days?
I read 3 books yesterday.
And today I'm trying to finish
cleaning. Before going to visit
another church with my crew.
So, I apologize for being gone from
here for the past days.

Anyway, I don't really know what to
say. I've started writing in my diary
again and it steals most of my thoughts.

So on facebook, one of those lame games I play
on there "frontierville" I made a post to ask my
friends for some of the items I need.
And on the post it says "is Christina making babies?"
And I'm like.. omw! loooooooooooolz.
No, I am not making babies.
But that made me lol.

I'm pretty excited about church tonight.
I just wish I wasn't so tired feeling.
Well, I guess it's not that I'm tired.
I don't know what it is. I'm just wore out
I guess. But, that's okay. This is gonna be
fun. Everyone is gonna have fun and God
is gonna move.

I really love my life.
I do.

-Ms. Conduit

Dear Jesus,
thank you for always staying by my side through
every situation. Even when I make stupid mistakes,
and repeat them occasionally. Thank you for
being faithful even when I was distracted by
life. Thank you for all the guidance you give me,
and for filling me with your spirit. Thank you
for the awesome people you bless me with.
Thank you for loving me. ♥

Okay, so I need to start writing again.
I mean, it's not that it's really been that long
since I've written.. but yet.. I need to write.
I've been busy lately. And writing is super
important. So, it's time to start working on a
new project.

I'm really glad that judgment house is done,
and the weekend. Dude, it was fun, yes..
But exhausting. And I'm still sick. I think I'm more
so getting over the sickness today though.
So, I'll be able to go to church tomorrow.
I'd probably go even if I was sick though, just saying.

Up until the sun won't shine,
even til the end of time
You're gonna be the one I run to,
I'm running with my arms out to You
When I don't quite understand,
Take my heart and take my hand
Show me what I should do
To love more like You -The Swift

*Standing with Sarah as she cleans the drinking fountain*

"Dude, look at how dirty this is! this is so gross." -Sarah

"Ew, that is pretty dirty xD" -Me

"We drink out of this! It's like we're kissing mold!" -Sarah

"I have to tell facebook."- Me

xD

It's not a family trait
It's nothing that I ate
And it didn't come from skating with holy rollers
It's an early warning sign
It keeps my life in line
But it's so hard to define
Never mind

It's just a spirit thing
It's just a holy nudge
It's like a circuit judge in the brain
It's just a spirit thing
It's here to guard my heart
It's just a little hard to explain

-Newsboys
(:

Well, she didn't come to judgment house.
But oh well I guess.

Judgment house went pretty successful though.
Someone was like "WOAH A BLACK JESUS!"
and they all chuckled. Aha. It was awesome.
I didn't mess up my lines, but Sarah messed
hers up and said her characters name instead of
mine.. which made me laugh. It was so hard to
be serious especially when people I knew came
in the room. But we did good. I'm proud of us.
Ha. But I am really glad it's over. The campout
was a pretty unsmart idea because now I'm sick..
and it's pretty miserable. But that's okay.

It's kinda sad how drama finds it's way into peoples
lives.

(:

-Ms. Conduit

Last night,
I was sitting here just minding my own business...
But then I heard chirping.
And I discovered it was Ventus.
My hermit crab.
He chirps.
He's cool.
(:

"You should never get a tattoo when you're a fetus." -Ted
"And you should never get a fetus when you're a tattoo."-Me
"Words of wisdom, people." -Ted
*spits rice everywhere*-me

xD

You're in the moment now
A bitter rouse
A wandering eye and then
The ties that bind start wearing thin, within

You're in the moment now
When all that you've been blessed with
Is not enough
Here's where the ground gets loose
Here's where the devils call your bluff

Stay strong
You are not lost
Come on and fix your eyes ahead
There's a new dawn to light our day, our day
You've gotta stay strong
You and I run
For the prize that lies ahead
We've come too far to lose our way, our way

We've seen the tragic flaws
The tortured souls
The saints with feet of clay
Here's where sin becomes cliche'

We've come through wilderness and watched
The cloud by day
The burning sky into dawn
Have you forgotten who you are?
Did you forget whose trip you're on?

Stay strong
You are not lost
Come on and fix your eyes ahead
There's a new dawn to light our day, our day
We've gotta stay strong
You and I run
For the prize that lies ahead
We've come too far to lose our way, our way

Get up, there's further to go
Get up, there's more to be done
Get up, this witness is sure
Get up, this race can be won
This race can be won

We've gotta stay strong
You are not lost
Come on and fix your eyes ahead
Our Father's dawn will light our day, our day
Come on and stay strong
His grip is sure
And His patience still endures
There'll be no letting go today, no way

Come on, and stay strong
You and I run
For the prize that lies ahead
We've come too far to lose our way, our way
-Newsboys

I have no idea what I've done to deserve this.
And things seem different. Some are.
But sometimes history just loves to repeat itself.

It's kinda funny when you're who you least expected
yourself to be. Doing what you didn't think you'd be doing.

Though, it's pretty awesome when it's everything you've wanted,
but never thought you could have.

So anyway, J2 (yes I'm aware that's... her nickname from
when we were like, 12).
Well, she might be coming to the thing this weekend.
And it's odd, I miss her. I mean, where I'm at in my
relationship with God now, and the people I have..
well, I know she's not a best friend to have. And it's been
a few years. But we always related to each other pretty
well. Even if we hardly got along. She was my best friend
for a couple years. I hope she does come.
Who knows, maybe she'd have a good time.
Maybe she would want to come back, and God would
get ahold of her. I know He has before..
she's just been fighting against it. And I guess that's
understandable. Considering the situations she's been
in. Though it's her own fault, the family she got born into
wasn't her choice. She's still had it pretty good compared
to some people. But God.. all I want is for her to love You.
I know she could get on the right track.. surrounded by
the right people. i.e., my crew. Anyway, I'm praying man.
I pray that she comes this weekend. I mean, she probably
won't... but I don't want to be negative so I'm gonna pray.

On another note, I hate it when people doubt me.
There's really only one person that doubts me.
But she doubts EVERYTHING I do. I decided I don't
want to go to college, and apparently I'm going to be
a "poor reject" for it. Everytime someone doubts me,
I want nothing more than to prove them wrong.
I can do anything. But only with the help of God.
And I know He'll walk with me.. every step of the way.

Dude... I need to stop ranting and take a shower.
I'll be late for grocery shopping and church.
peace out blogger (:

-Ms. Conduit

I really hope things change, real soon.
People need to start actually trying.

"My mother disappoints me so." -me
"Haha she forgot?"- Ted
"She didn't feel like it..." - Me
"Ha, that's nice." -Ted
"Yeah... right." -me
"Well, it's not the last nutella you'll ever have." -Ted
"Could be."-me
"Oh you're pathetic lol"-Ted
"What if I dieeeeeeee" -me
"Hahahahaha if you could die from that,
I'd be very sad for a long time. But I highly
doubt that you could. lol"-Ted


I think it's possible to die from lack of nutella :L

-Ms. Conduit

Last night I was listening to some of the newsboys older music.
You know like, back when it was good. The original albums
"take me to your leader" and "steppin' up to the microphone"
Well...
I was on my porch listening to them, and I took a sip of coffee.
And at that moment,
the newsboys told me to put my coffee down.
"Put down your crumpets and your coffee now,
so unfashionably late..."
xD
It was grand. I told Ted this and he proceeded to sing half
of the song. In a text. (:

-Ms. Conduit

A rant. xD

Dear facebook status updaters,
Okay. I have a few things to say.
We get it. Your ex likes you. And that guy
over there, and the stalker guy.
Why are you bragging about it, and
filling up my wall with stupid posts?
Also, we get it. You love each other.
Must you say it in every update?
"I looooooooooooooooove you baby!
you make my world go around wooo."
Okay. Thanks for posting it every
10 minutes :D
Also, I don't need to know that you're
going to take a shower. Why do you
need to post this?
And I understand that you hate school
and mornings. Must it be announced every
day? Mornings are actually lovely,
and school... well, it helps in some ways.
So be positive people.
And I get oh so tired of seeing
"I hate my life."
"Why doesn't she/he loooooove me?"
And those subtle little messages
to people, like "I'm sorry, but I'm done trying.
you come to me when you're ready to be
serious" or something, I mean honestly.
Just send the person a private message.
We don't all want to hear about your private
life and drama.

Thank you C:

-Ms. Conduit

"MY BABY IS NOT A PONY! He's smaller than a pony."

"What if I had a baby and it was a pony?" -Ted
"SHUT UP! wait... what?" -
"*laughing*"- me..


I just realized something. I thought this was one of the most
random things ever... but now I realize Ted couldn't have a baby.
He's a man.

:D

I'm crazy :D

There's just not a way to explain it.
I could simply say, my feelings are hard to rhyme,
But be glad I'm giving it a try, taking the time.
There's just something about the way you smile,
That makes me feel like I could run a thousand miles
And I don't think I'd even get tired.
I hate feeling like a broken record, repeating myself
Maybe I'll just say being without you is bad for my health.
ANDAJNFOEJMOIKFMODLGMSEOMOSDF,K
frustration.
Not enough motivation.
To try to explain the unexplainable.
It's simply impossible.
I'm tired.
xD

(I have no idea, so don't bother to ask. haa.)

-Ms. Conduit x)

Okay, I just gotta say

Okay... I have to add to my weekend.
Church, was awesome. Like, as usual.
Pastor was flying around like a bird x)
He makes me laugh.
"We're communicating." Oooo.
hehe. Okay so! After that I ran to hardees
to get some food and head back to the church..
for drama practice. Dress rehearsal it was.
I shared my chicken with Jake, Ami, and Sarah :L
And Jake stole some of my milkshake -_-
ha. So basically... we all sat around... goofed off..
until like 4:30. And.. oh. we went to taco bell.
I dug through the sauce packets and found
one that said "will you marry me?" (:
Then we went back to the church and practiced.
Hrmm... I kept laughing while doing my lines.
And Sarah. Oh my goodness. Sarah stole my
phone and said how awesome she is on my facebook
xD
And... when we were waiting for pastor and the leader
people to come see our part of the drama thing..
we were turning our lines into a musical...aha..
"We can't beeee deeadddd
I have this big youth party next week, and my big
test.... -me
"And I'm bleeding on my chestt!!!" -Hannah.
oh my. Terrible times. it was fun though.
So... pastor was like "you did great. Jake,
did you know your girlfriend is such a good actor?"
ha. Jake. He's so sweet. Oh my goodness.
When I got in my car to go home... and searched my
purse for my ipod.. I found his tie (:
He put it in my purse hehe. I usually ask for his
tie... and such. And I didn't.. but he.. he's so sweet.
Anywho, I taught Erin's kids to say "Mmm... sweet tea!"
Just like... thatguywiththeface does..
they were all "hey you, guy!" and he turned and they said,
"MMMMMMMMMM SWEET TEA!" and he ignored them
then. But they did it a billion times... eventually he was like
"I HEARD YOU *GRRRFACE*" Oh my word it was hilarious.
I don't even feel sorry for the guy.
Niki wants me to play guitar for a song the choir is gonna do
in like.. a month or something? I looked it up when I got home..
there's two chords in it that I'm not good at.. but I've been practicing.
Hopefully I can do this.
I just remembered during drama I stuck my gum on the tarp in the morgue..
and I forgot to get it after we were done :L someone will be mad about that.
ha. Hmm... my back hurts. I should definitely do a post that's not explaining my
entire weekend... and is rather something deep and thoughtful..
but. I'm exhausted :)
Twill do so tomorrow.

-Ms. Conduit

my weekend..

Soo..
Thursday night I went to my other house..
and the stars looked amazing :L
it's awesome how much nicer everything
is in the country.
Anywayy... Friday I woke up at 2am
on accident..
I get no cell phone service in the country.
of course... soo... it thought 2am was 6am..
bleh.
But then..
later on I got up at 5:30
and got ready.
Then went to the algonquin fest.
We had the pancake breakfast ha.
My dad walked into a shack that said
"pancakes"
then this guy did a leprecaun voice
and said
"he's going in me sausage shack!"
haha. It wasn't the pancake breakfast..
anyway..
We roamed around.. watched the school bands..
listened to people talk about stuff yadayada..
then Mary saw me and yelled to me :D
she was my best friend til I was like..
9.
It'd been a while since I saw her.
Strange.. she looked exactly the same...
and I look so different, but yet she saw me
and knew me. egad.
probably because of my facebook pictures.
Anywho..
I bought some cinnamon almonds..
and a slingslot carved into a wolf :D
when dad and I went back to the house
he went and found his old slingshot and we
shot empty bottles.
twas fun. and a walk to the lake..
and a campfire...
then Saturday morning we came home..
after shopping through the old town and looking
through antique shops...
I felt kinda sick when I got home..
there was a party at my youth leaders..
but... I didn't go. Since I didn't feel good.
So... I played video games all day :L

church in an hour (:
Then drama practice..
last one before
performance...
oy.

-Ms. Conduit

Stupid things?

Just because something is stupid to you,
doesn't mean it's stupid to everyone.

Each person has their own feelings,
and sorry to tell you,
but not everyone feels the same way
about everything.

So, don't say that the things I do are
stupid. They make me who I am,
and saying these things are stupid is
like saying I'm stupid.

And God didn't make me stupid.
He put a good head on my shoulders,
and I'm following His plan.
So your words aren't gonna break me.

-Ms. Conduit

Ted- "I'm happy I have people like you in my life."
Me-"I'm happy to be in your life lol."
Ted-"Yay for being in peoples lives!"

xD

Life is beautiful, life is beautiful
And you are so beautiful too.
Life is beautiful, love it's miracle
And you are my miracle too.
I'm finding me in you.

Pride.

You need to understand that your deliverance is connected to someone else.
Whether you like it or not. I don't care who you are.
There is someone out there who has words for you, they have your
victory right in their next sentence.

Pride will destroy many things. We don't want to hang around people
who will correct our wrong ways of living. We wanna hang out with people
like ourselves, who think what we're doing is right. When it's not.
We need to hang out with a higher crowd. And accept their correction.

Pride can keep you from good relationships.
Oh so and so hurt me. Get over it. Relationships aren't always rosy.
Pride says "You hurt me. I want nothing to do with you.
Don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even look at me."

Pride is only concerned with protecting you. It doesn't want you to expose yourself.
It doesn't want you to admit that you're wrong. It only shows you how everyone
else is wrong. Not you. You can only focus on what they did and said about you.
It's always them - never yourself. When you give it all up for God's service, you learn
to forgive. You learn to examine your own heart, faults, weaknesses, and shortcomings.

Someone else has your victory. Someone has hurt you. But think, maybe
the person who hurt you has your victory, and you need to forgive.
And listen. Let pride die.

I'm slow to trust, but I'm quick to love
I push too hard and I give too much
I'm not saying I'm perfect; but I promise I'm worth it. ♥

People need to blog more.
I need some inspiration.
:x

Going with mum for she is getting a
haircut. Now me, I would never get
a haircut x)
Anywho, I just wanna ride in the car.
And listen to music. And eat food.
So,
hooray for car rides :D

-Ms. Conduit