Oh my. I haven't been on here in a while. But I've done some real soul searching, and I think I've almost found myself. Not without the help of my Creator though. It's been one heck of a ride, and without Jesus Christ I'd have no hope.

So here's what's been going on. I was searching for a second job so I could have two, because I'm definitely not making enough money. A few people said, "I don't know Christina, you already have your job, internship, and the band. You don't wanna burn yourself out." But I thought, "Psshhh, I can do all things through Christ." But as it turns out, on Monday God told me plain and clear(seriously) "Christina, don't get a second job. Stay at Tangees. But put your focus on your music and the band." It just kind of took me by surprise. I don't know how I'm going to afford the cost of living, but I do know who my God is.

Once again it's been confirmed that music is my purpose. At winterjam over the weekend(I went to two, one in Columbus on Saturday, and in Cleveland on Sunday), some incredible things happened. I saw some amazing bands, met an amazing guitarist(Jake Jones of We As Human, look them up), goofed off, did things I normally wouldn't have the courage to, and now.. I feel like I want to leave Ohio to tour after internship. Which is weird. I mean, Ohio will still be my home. I'll come back. I mean, who even knows if the band will be famous in 5 months? But, we'll see. I know what God has told me. And I know the passion I felt when I saw those bands on stage. And Jake Jones may not know this part, but he's absolutely inspired me to be better, to do this thing for real. Because I want to make people feel the way they made me feel, to be able to bring people that kind of happiness and the love of God. So Jake, thank you. A million times.

Part of me is deathly afraid. Afraid that I won't be good enough to do what I want to do. But then again, I'm not. God is the one who has given me any talent I may have, and He's the one who's gonna pull it out of me when the timing is right. I just hope that's soon considering the band has a show in nearly 3 weeks, and then one the next week after that. I'm nervous. I'm excited. And I'm hoping and praying that everything will turn out.

I've been relishing the moment, I guess you could say. (HAHA!) Oh, I suppose I should share that story. I gave Jake a packet of relish, and told him to relish the moment. Which is something I'd of never had the courage to do before. But now, We As Human will forever remember me as relish girl. I want to be memorable.

God has been stretching me, and pushing my limits when it comes to dealing with people. To be honest, I wanted to quit work at the pizza shop. I won't say why. But the plan had become that when I found another job, I'd just quit and work full time at the other one. But of course, God told me to stay. So I'm doing that. And things have worked themselves out. Internship has been like... I don't know how to explain it. I've learned so much and grown so much. But sometimes a few certain interns make me want to lose my mind and just punch them. I know, terrible. But if I'm being honest, that's how I feel sometimes. I love them, but it's just so hard. Yet, now I feel I'm ready to deal with anything. Any person, any situation. I've been through almost everything in the past few months, and it's prepared me.

I'm going to do a 21 day Daniel fast with a friend, starting tomorrow. I'll go ahead and be honest with something. For 31 and change(a thing at my church) we were supposed to fast something, in some way, or rather, we had the option to. That started January 1st. I did the Daniel fast, and then quit on January 3rd. It's not easy. I've been preparing myself for it this time around though, and I know God will give me the strength. And posting it on here will help hold me accountable because now that it's out there, I don't want to have to come back and tell you guys that I failed.

God is getting ready to do big things. A Way Eternal is gonna blow the roof off in Mansfield, and in Carrollton. And then? The world. Lets. Do. This.


~Ms. Conduit