It's time for me to be honest with you blogger. Instead of jumping on here and saying what a wonderful week I had, I'm going to tell the truth.

The past week was the week from hell.

I have no other way to put it. It sucked royally. And excuse me for being honest. Now that that's out of the way, Jesus is still my joy. Everything else was destroyed but I came out alive holding onto Him. Let me say this- I've learned this past week that putting hope in anything other than Jesus only tears you apart. I'm still standing strong but it hurts. There's pain. I know it will all be okay though. And another thing that made yesterday awful, well it was due to my own irresponsibility. I have nothing to say for myself for getting locked out of the house. I'm going to use more wisdom next time. As for the other thing, I'll be amazed if I ever develop feelings willingly for another human being again. I will take most of the credit for this. But still, I was lead on. Despite the fact that I'm not having another relationship until internship is done, it doesn't take feelings away. Unfortunately. So I let myself have feelings. And be charmed. Stupidest thing I've ever done. The sad thing is, he's a really good guy. He's probably unaware of it all. The leading me on, and everything else. He's just in la-la land, thinking about how he can change the world. And yes, that's a nice place to be... But I don't think you should overlook the people right in front of you. Enough of that though. I was going to say I'm going back to the whole "a woman should be so lost in God that a man has to be in Him to find her" or whatever, but I realized I've already been doing that. And I still am. Said guy just found me unintentionally, and decided I'm not worth waiting a little bit of time for. Or maybe not. I am harshly saying all this, because him and I haven't even talked about it. He doesn't know that I know. And I should stop. I just need to rant. Usually I'm strong. I'm kind to everyone. I can hold my emotions back. But like I said; week. from. hell. This next week WILL be from heaven. I won't settle for less. I won't even get into what else happened last week.

But on the bright side, we had more band photographs taken. And they're so much better than the last ones. They're amazing! And we recorded our first song today. It'll be on facebook tomorrow. And that makes me super happy. Tomorrow will be great just because of that, if nothing else. Tuesday we're playing at muggswigz for open mic. I still hold hopes that so and so will show up, but it will be fantastic even if he doesn't. Basically, all of my energy is going into God, and the band. I want to get my mind off of this. I really need a job too. I'm going back to the hotel tomorrow for a follow-up, and then getting an application at subway in Canton if that doesn't get me anywhere. I need distractions. Maybe this will be the jumpstart in my ministry.

So there you have it blogger,

I'm weak sometimes. But He is my strength.

"Well I pretend

I just need me
I seem so strong
But it's make believe

Cuz I've seen love fail
I've been betrayed
I've seen love pass
I've seen love fade

But I know that God is not that way
He doesn't change from day to day
He doesn't fail he doesn't leave
And I want that so desperately

(chorus)

He loves broken hearts
Faith like a child
And now here I come
With just a broken heart
And faith like a child

I want love love love
I want perfect love.
I want love love love
I want perfect love.
Will someone tell me where to find
Some place to ease my troubled mind (X2)

I want love love love
I want perfect love." -supertones