As I sit here eating my blueberry muffin, and drinking my pumpkin spice, french vanilla mocha(I ran out of pumpkin spice creamer) I overthink. I mean, who doesn't overthink anymore these days? But last night. It was one of the worst things I've experienced concerning church people. Now, if you've been following my blog for a while, you know I love my church. And you know I love everyone. But last night.... first of all, bible study. All I'll say about that is.. I invited my friend who's baptist, and we're non-denominational. Not that it bothers me, because he's just as saved as I, or anyone else for that matter. Ironically, the guy who was speaking started talking about prayer. We got into talking about tongues(which baptists don't use) and it all went downhill. The guy who was speaking said to my friend, "We believe what's biblical. Hopefully someday you come to understand it." Jaw. Drops. THAT IS NOT RIGHT! You don't just tell someone that what they believe is wrong. That probably ruined my friends idea of our church, just because of someones ignorance. I almost threw up, right then and there. I will not be taking any advice from this man, ever. He could of destroyed my friends faith, or his view of christians. And it makes me sick. You don't just tell someone that just because they don't believe tongues are for today, that they're wrong. Come on now! And oh look, it gets worse. So after this some of us went to a friends for food. We all got in a circle and prayed. Some people were getting extremely loud, and it made me think of the Pharisees. They look good on the outside, but their hearts are far from God. And honestly, that's what I felt. I didn't at all feel at peace with this. And then someone who was praying yelled "PRAY LOUDER, IRON SHARPENS IRON" and I nearly walked out of the room. God isn't deaf, and neither are we. We don't need to hear someone praying to feel the comfort of it. My goodness. All I can say is, it felt like I was in a room full of Pharisees. Some of them anyway. Maybe some were just naive. And my few good friends who probably felt the same way, stayed quiet as I did. Then the "pharisees" asked me what my deal was, if I needed prayer for anything. Well, yes. I do. But no way was I about to let them pray for me. I want real heartfelt spirit lead prayer. Not someone who's trying to get attention and look holy. My view of some people has been changed. Yes, I still love them. But do I want to be around them and experience this again? No. Absolutely not. In different news, feelings are extremely lame. Especially when they're for someone you don't want to have feelings for. I mean, this person is extremely nice and fits my standards but... he's not exactly my... type? I guess. I'm just trusting God with this. I'm gonna stick to my guns and be the girl who's hard to win. I mean, I'm not having any relationship until internship is done anyway. I just want to see if someone will wait for me. Til I'm out of internship. That, will prove to me that I'm worth it to them. So we'll see what happens. But today is going to be good. No pharisees, no know it all's... just a lovely day of internship, drawing close to God, prayer, and working at TCO to help the homeless. I will not let today be ruined. And God is walking by my side all the while.

What is there to fear when You're beside me, You are my strength You're my strong tower.

~Ms. Conduit

I forgot to mention, about the pharisees. The bible says to enter the kingdom of heaven you must be more righteous than the pharisees. It says this because the pharisees only make themselves look good on the outside, but their hearts are evil. Make your heart pure, and it'll show up on the outside. ♥