Shhh,it's a secret!

So,get this,Christmas is almost here!
Wahooo.Surprisingly,I'm not sad about it anymore.
I was complaining about how being lonely
on Christmas sucks...
But I'm not lonely!I may be single,
but I've got Jesus.. And the most amazing friends and
family a person could ask for.
I don't want anything for Christmas.
There was one thing,but lets just say...
it can't be bought. But it's all good.
I haven't done any Christmas shopping.
I've decided to make gifts for everyone.
I'm cheesy,I know. But I'm writing a story
about how my parents fell in love,
and I wrote two songs to go along with it.
I'm pretty excited to get that all finished.
I don't know what to do for my best friend,
after all that's happened..... I don't know
what would be appropriate.. to get him.
His cousin told me he's doing something for
me... but I hope he doesn't.
Cause I have no idea what I'm gonna get him.

So anyways!Back to square one.
I've got dress rehearsal tonight
for the Christmas cantata. Wooty woot.
I'm actually not excited at all.
I know all the songs,and jazz...
I'm real tired and not feeling
well but I'm gonna go anyways.
After all,the performance is Saturday
and Sunday.

I've pulled my ol' guitar outta the closet,
and am trying lessons again. Shea is trying
to teach me... but so far the only chord
I've mastered is "Em",I still feel like a beast
accomplishing one chord,so I've been
playing that one chord all day and
probably driving people insane.

I should probably get to work on my
new years resolutions and all that,I just realized it's getting close.
Really close... Hm.2009 was pretty fine,
but I'm ready to move on. It wasn't the best. I hate
that I can't beat how good 2007 was.
Dreaming of those past days. They were surely good.
2010 has got to rock out loud. I won't let it be anything
but the best,no doubt.

"It makes more sense to believe in God than to not believe. If you believe, and God exists, you will be rewarded in the afterlife. If you do not believe, and He exists, you will be punished for your disbelief. If He does not exist, you have lost nothing either way. "

I absolutely love that!Pascal's Wager....

God is worth it all,no doubt and I belong to Him... Even through this crazy life that sometimes doesn't make sense. Okay,that never makes sense. I don't always get what I want but in the end everything will work out for me. Good to know.

Well anyways,I've gotta get ready for rehearsal,so I guess that's all for now.

Oh,by the way my birthday is Wednesday.

-Ms. Conduit

Your heart is God's most beautiful work of art...

Wow,life is weird. How am I ever to understand it? Gah,I need an adventure. I have a lot going on,but none of it is really an adventure. Whatever will I do? I really want to move,far from here. God's been telling me something about Arkansas,but I don't know what. All I've known to do is pray over Arkansas,cause apparently something is going on. Maybe he needs me to go there this summer. I know I don't have the money for that,but if He wants me there He'll get me there. So yeah,I'm praying over Arkansas even though I know absolutely nothing about it.

I greatly miss some of the past,but for some reason things just won't be the way they used to. I guess I just gotta move forward. I'm just tired. Tired of being tired,and tired of being here in Bolivar.

Our mission trip this year is probably going to be in Tennessee,so I'm thinking that will be interesting. It's not for sure yet,but we're having one this year. I wish it would be in Arkansas,cause I still can't get that off of my mind.

I haven't ate anything today,I don't think my stomach can handle it. I think coffee is about all I can consume at the time. I feel like crap.


But you know what's funny?I'm doing completely awesome!Tonight I'm picking up Jared and we're going to my church for the overnight Christmas movie thing. Jared hasn't ever been to my church,and such so it should be fun!I'm curious as to who all will be there,but I guess I'll find out soon enough. I should probably get a nap before so I can be hyper,but I'll just take coffee with me and make sure to have lots of it. These overnight things always suck the life right out of me. I feel like I'm getting old.

That is all.

-Ms.Conduit

Run with me,to Destiny Islands...

I'm having a lack of things to say lately.
But I do need to use blogger more.

So,once more,I let myself down again.
Trying to trust myself instead of God.
Blasted!What is my problem?

Well,I'm going to get it right this time anyways.

So you know something?
People are complete idiots.
All of us.
And we never learn.


If you always do what you've always done,
you'll always get what you've always gotten.


We walk into the same thing we've always done,
knowing it didn't work the first time.
Why do we think it'll be different a second time around?
Like I said,we're idiots.

But God is not. I'm letting Him do what take control now.
Because I have no idea what to do.

So,Cody wants me to sit with him tonight. I guess I'll do so.
He's a nice kid. He even offered to take me to
mcdonalds before church. Haha!I like food,I'm down.

I'm not gonna understand love anytime soon <3