City bus love song

Recently my car has taken a crap on me. So as I've rode the bus, I've kept track of some of my adventures. So without further ado;

As I sit here on the bus, toes numb, hands froze, nose running, I realize they're always 10 minutes later than their ETA. Part of me what's to come stand out here 10 minutes later, but knowing my luck, the bus would start coming on time. Funny enough, this is only my second time taking the bus. Normally I drive by the bus stop and laugh at the people standing there. How bratty and selfish. I always assumed it was their own fault but here I am and its not my fault. I've got a lot of learning to do. Bus riders, I salute you.

New thought, I'd really like to have a bus.

Day 3 with the bus. Today I wasn't playing around. I brought a blanket and stood out 7 minutes later than usual. Still the bus was 10 minutes late. Maybe I calculated wrong. Anyways, the blanket was a great idea. Just a small knit blanket. I put it over my head and peeked out to see if the bus was arriving. I'm definitely a lot warmer than the other days, but still chilly. However, I feel at home now. Not angry that I'm taking the bus, not upset about the cold. Like I'm heading to a destination where I'm going to do something amazing. Even if it is just the square Starbucks. Today is going to be an extraordinary day, and quite possibly my last day with the bus. Rest in peace 108, rest in peace.

Day 4 with the bus. Well, paycheck wasn't enough for both rent and a down payment on a new car. So I'm waiting til next payday. I guess things could really be worse. Today instead of -6 degrees, it was 30. So its considerably warmer. However I wasn't prepared for all the slush so now my socks are soaked and my feet are icicles. The rest of me is fine though. Minus my hair. It was just barely drizzling so the bit of hair that was sticking out of my hood couldn't be saved. I can't seem to get over how cold my feet are. This must be how brides feel. The good news is, I was supposed to be in at 5:30am today and the buses wouldn't have been running yet. Thankfully, a co worker so graciously switched me so I'm working at 10:30. So a little extra sleep, and I'm making it on time. Thankful for that. The lady finally forced me to take my change card today. I've been refusing because of my hopes that this would only last two days. Now it's real to me, and its gonna be a total of 8 more days that I take the bus unless a miracle happens. Let's just hope I don't become a regular. And hopefully it stays 30 degrees. The lining is silver.

To be continued...

I've returned from my mini honeymoon. The crazy thing is that it wasn't any different. Just a different location. When you're with a man who treats you like every day is a honeymoon, well, when you really take one not much changes. However I must say that 4 days off work was just wow. I haven't had 4 days off in over a year. I've just accumulated some vacation time recently though so I'm thinking about having another vacation. Anyways, I'm actually excited to get back to work, as much as I thought I wouldn't be. I love my job, but it can be incredibly exhausting. While I was gone, two people that I love transferred out. It's amazing how much can change in 4 days. I was discouraged at first but I'm quickly climbing up to the small list of people who have been there the longest. People are starting to look up to me, and I wanna do something with that. Even if the time I have left here at starbs isn't very long. Which I'm still unsure of. But its all one day at a time. I'm not very motivated to post right now but I wanted to make sure I did.

#seeyousoon

I've been trying to update this sucker for quite sometime now.
I know I need to get back into this.
So here's a quick update on my life.
I just got married less than a month ago.
I just celebrated one year at Starbucks.
My sister is having a baby girl.
I've joined the world of iPhone.
I'm trying really hard to starting writing and playing music again.
Neal and I will be traveling soon for his job.
I get to see the world like I always wanted to.
How unbelievable is that?!

As always, I'm still weird, opinionated, awkward, and the slightest bit bipolar. So don't think I'll be boring now that I'm old and married. (Which by the way is AWWSOME! for real guys, after waiting I'm psyched to be blessed with such am awesome man for the rest of my life.)

#seeyousoon

Soap

http://bible.com/116/gal6.14

Catching up on lost time.

Windows down,
Music loud
Rebelling against
Things that held us back

Driving fast,
Coming off the ground
Laughing loud
As my heart pounds

Smiling crooked,
My stomach is jumping
The chip in your tooth,
To me is charming

Spinning fast
Til I'm dizzy
You smile and reach out
Your hand to me

Backing away
As we swing
Too nervous to think
Too nervous to blink

Rushing water
Hearts ablaze
A great escape
First kiss today

Tangled up inside
Eyes so bright
A feeling that makes
Me so alive

Pouring rain
A smiling hint
Leaning on your tailgate
A drenched kiss

A look of distress
Feelings of confusion
Someone in the background
Pushed back from this picture

More than one
A broken family
Can't be fixed
If I stand between

A bittersweet goodbye
Both left with a gift
Something that I
Will never forget

Though time has passed
Memories linger
I won't be angry
But instead be grateful.

Tragedies.

Once upon a mistake
I went and let you take my breath away
The tacky 90's style,
The crooked little smile
Drew me right in

Now I knew, knew what I was doing
Baggage too heavy to drag through this
But it was worth it
Just for the memories

Once upon a chilled summer day
You caught my attention
In an unexpected way
I tried to be distant
But I fell into the quicksand
As you took my hand
We began to spin
And I knew this would be
One of my best tragedies

A month or two with you
Brought me from the misery
I was going through
Late night talks, and drives
And hours at work
You made worthwhile
You were the tune
That stuck in my head
Though I knew it would end
Too soon

This was one of those times
Where it was better to have
Than not to have had at all
As the fall weather nipped at us,
We ran back to the fates
We had come from.

I guess what I've realized is that I'm still here. There's a song by Yellowcard called "Here I am alive", and it describes me. Basically talks about all the hard situations you've faced and how if you could talk to your past self you'd say it gets better and that  you get past those impossible things. And I can get past these impossible things that I'm facing. Even if it's harder than other situations. They always get harder. But I've always made it out.

Here's my probs.
I've got this dude that I've went on a few dates with and he is literally so awesome.
Minus the fact that I have no clue what he wants. He doesn't talk to me outside of the dates.
Which basically gives me the idea that this is done even  though he said he likes me and
wants to see me again. It's been a week and a half. All the texting that was done was done because
of me. So.. though he was so fantastic, I guess it's time to give that up.
Then someone from the past who really hurt me, but I let them go on a good note..
Well they decide to add me on facebook. And that's a huge deal for this person.
They wouldn't add me for no reason. So though I shouldn't over think it, I am.
I'm wondering why he did it. What he wants. What he has to say. I guess being curious
really will kill the Kat. So number two guy who's leaving me clueless. And again,
all I can do is ignore the situation and try to forget the conclusions in my mind.
Then.. we've got the ex. Gosh darn feelings that were there before and come and go.
Only because he keeps pushing it as far as I can tell. We hang out sometimes. And we
have a nice time together. He's just.. so immature and selfish sometimes. Okay, a lot.
And I'm always the adult. And it's frustrating. And he has to have his way. I'm not
saying I'm perfect but good grief I'm trying at least. It feels one sided. Every time
he thinks he's won me back, he stops being awesome. So I don't know.
I guess the moral of the story is this: I have 5 cats. I only need like 3 more and I can become
a crazy cat lady and be single forever. Works for me.
But wait! Maybe I can wipe all these guys off the slate. Why? I just got hired at Starbucks.
You know what that means? Artistic, mature, creative, adult tattooed males that are generally
what I look at. And hopefully a lot of them love Jesus and are total nerds like me.
Though.. I don't want to find more than one awesome guy.
I sound like a crazy high schooler right now.. Ha. I guess all I'm asking for is one guy who
will make me forget all this stupid stuff so I can move on with my life. And I know I don't
need that and that God is enough, but you know how this late night over thinking crap goes.
I don't use logic or reason or anything I know.
But besides the dudes..

My gosh dang parents. I'm never gonna be good enough for them and I don't know why I torture myself by trying. I'm "evil" for getting a tattoo. I talked to God about this tattoo thing a lot. Believe me. And I did my research on what the context of "Don't mark your body" means. And tattoos are most assuredly different. But still. I'm a "terrible" person for getting a tattoo. And oh by golly, I'm so darn bad for staying out late at night with friends playing worship songs on guitar or board games or having conversations about life and God and love. Of course I'm out "drinking, smoking, and having sex" yes, I the good christian virgin girl. No! I'm out spending time with my friends doing good things. I'm so sick and tired of hearing them say, "The dark is evil. Only bad people are out at night." That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And of course I got to hear how dumb I am for quitting my 60+ hour a week job that was destroying my body, keeping me from church, and ruining my friendships. Yes I'm such a moron for doing something good for myself. Plus I already have a job. And more lined up if I need them. I'm not worried. I've kept my areas clean. My part of the house is nice though theirs looks like hoarders. And I'm not good enough? I'm a slob? Why don't I clean their part too? What am I? I don't do drugs or drink or smoke. I'm waiting til marriage for sex. I'm not a bum who sits around all day. I pay for all my own stuff. I've got a good relationship with God. I read my Bible. I go to church. I do good deeds. I follow God. But I'm still not good enough. Forget the whole darn thing and everything that comes with it. I'm done trying to please them. I'll never be perfect.

Here's the good news... when I quit Nickles, I went in and gave all of the people in my department gift cards. Even the people who hated me. And I guess it really changed a lot of hearts. People are asking me more about God now then they did when I worked there and tried to tell them. And I'm happy. Today.. a friend and I went to the house of a girl who hates us and left a card and a bunch of candy, snacks, and presents on her doorstep and ran like the dickens. I'm spending more time with friends. I get to freaking work at one of my dream jobs making coffee. There is hope. I'm not giving up. I'm just a little worn out and tired of people. But I know it'll be okay. I know it. Someday.

Poop.