So, I was sitting here trying to create a wordpress. I got the account made, and I was thinking about ranting on it, but I decided my first post should be something awesome. So I'm coming back to you, blogger. You've been with me for quite a while now. And I don't really know what it is that I want to say. I guess I'm just a little tired. I'm thinking about tomorrow, "battle of the bands" the christian version of course. If we win, we get to open for Remedy Drive this summer. Not that I'm all "we're going to win!" There's only two rounds, and though I don't know if we'll win, I'm confident that we'll make it to round two without a doubt. All of these opportunities have been amazing. We have 3 more shows set up. I bought a mixer from Kris. I know this is what I'm meant to do with my life and it feels like I'm finally moving forward. Not to mention God is revealing so much to me. Like, a week ago. There was a guy at a gas station where Matt and I were talking, and he asked if he could use one of our phones. I selfishly pulled my phone closer to me, thinking the worst of the guy, while Matt handed his phone over. The guy had said he was stranded because his car broke down. Every other word out of his mouth was a cuss word. And it made me sick to my stomach. And I'm not quite sure why. Do I really keep myself this sheltered, as to not even hear cussing, ever? And then the guy thanked Matt, and sat down near us, frustrated, obviously. He complained about the town(My town, and I don't blame him), and he shared nearly his whole life story with us. The things that he told me blew my mind. Like, what he does for a living is not honorable to him, nor his girlfriend. It's horrific, and just... It shocked me. I mean, I know it's in the world, but I never really think about it. Finally he asked about us, and Matt mentioned that we'd played with our band at a church that day. The guy quickly apologized for cussing, saying, "I'm so sorry for my language, I didn't realize ya'll were church people." Which made me chuckle, for some reason. Church folks deserve more respect than normal folks? And then he told us how his grandmother is always preaching at him everytime she sees him, and it made me smile. Go grandma. I realize I was way too judgmental sitting there, almost vomiting because of his language, and gagging because of what he does and not even having the gall to look him in the eye. And then I realized something. All sin is the same. And I always knew this, but for some reasons the things we always "know" don't really hit us until we experience them, you know? I realized, that before God, I was just like this man. Living life blindly, doing things that seemed good but only hurt me, and hurting others. I was on the highway to hell. No, I never did anything "too" horrible. I lived a pretty "clean" life compared to the worlds standards. But God see's all sin as the same. He's perfect. I was just as lost as this man. And it blew my mind. And suddenly, I had a new appreciation for God's grace. No more thinking I'm "holier than thou" just pure, raw, brokenness for realizing what a sinner I was, and still am at times. And it blows my mind repeatedly now. We're all hopeless and lost, until we hear and accept what Christ did at the cross. Perfection died, to set this sinner free. And it's just so amazing. We think of grace and forgiveness and repentance as something for the person who has murdered, has stolen, was addicted to drugs and drinking, has cheated on their spouse, those "big" sins. And yes, it is for those. But it's also for that lie you told 5 minutes ago, that time you cheated on your test, that time you had a lustful thought, that time you were angry at another, that time you compromised Christ and what you believe... Grace is for YOU. You need forgiveness. And Christ took all of what we deserved, and died the sinners death. And it humbles me so much. I'm just thinking back on gas station guy, and I hope that somehow, I was a light to him. I hope the Bible verse I left for him as he slept on a row of chairs at the gas station touched his heart. And showed him that someone really does care.

-Ms. Conduit