Here I sit, looking back on the past few days. Looking back on my life. Tuesday AWE(my band, or rather the band I'm in, I feel like I'm claiming it as mine when I say "my band" but really I'm not.) took a roadtrip down to Carrollton. We went to show some folks what we can do, basically. They were looking for a spirit-filled band to play on August 6th, and they said they found one; Us. I'm rather glad they liked us. It was a lot of fun to play in a sort of studio. They said we can come record a CD whenever. So we're going to work on originals so that we can sell them. Not that anyone would buy them, but hey, you never know. I'm just so thankful for how far God has brought us since only April. The trip we took to Mcdonalds on the way home was somewhat disastrous. I mean, it was lovely except for one thing. And it can all be blamed on that stupid thing I did the other day. I feel like I've let Tessa down, but she swears it's okay. I just feel like a leader to her. I want to be a good example. I'm supposed to be the 'good christian girl'. But thinking on it, I don't want to be labeled as that. So in the end it all worked out. Today was just lovely. I woke up and wasted some time. And then got ready for church. I wore my crazy pants that both my mother and sister begged me not to buy. People liked them. I felt bold for daring to wear them. Anyways, prayer and stuff before church was awesome. The song we sang. What Jordan said. Just what I needed. He said that we tend to think leaders are perfect or that we feel the need to be perfect as leaders; Bam. But what's even better, he announced that- egad, leaders are not perfect! Everyone has problems no matter who you are. It's not the problems you have, but how you handle them. It made me feel a lot better. Praise and worship was awesome. Church was awesome. I feel the need to go out witnessing now, or start a bible study or something. I just feel like I'm not doing enough. Everyone deserves to have this feeling, this freedom, this joy, this never-ending love. Tonight got really deep. Jared and I ended up sitting under the stars talking about his mother, and college, and God, and direction. Honestly, I have no idea where all the words I said came from. I quoted many a bible verse, I tried my best to say the right thing, and though it didn't feel like I made much of a difference; I know God gave me all the words. It makes me so, so happy to know that God is still speaking through me. I've been off my game for a few days, but I think I'm back on track. I met someone new at church today, and she made me smile. She complimented me; "I like your pants. And your shirt. And your vest. And your face." Bahah. ♥ Not to mention I got Jared's sister to talk a little. Their mom's birthday is tomorrow so we're going to go shopping and try to find something for her. I told her to bring her Owl City CD since I like OC as well, and she started talking about music. And it just made my day. I'd say today was pretty successful. I even did my daily devotions. Generally on church days I get too busy. But I did them today. Now that I'm exhausted, and have to be up at 8am. I think I should go to bed. No matter how dark things seem, there's always a light. And it seems that the darker it gets, the more you see the light. The darkness can never extinguish it. And that is what gives me hope.

-Ms. Conduit