I've let life take away from my
time with you. Not that anyone
reads you or cares, it's more for
me.
Update on my life;
Work at subway, is freakin'
amazing. They say you only
get tips there every once
in a blue moon. I've got
two so far. Woot! And I can
only say that it's God.
Both times I was working with
other girls, but they didn't get
tips. I invited one of them to
bible study Friday, but she didn't
say much about it, sigh. Though
I'm sure she knows the offer
stands. Ted, Darius, and I AKA
"A Way Eternal" have had a few
difficulties. Which is definitely not
good since we start playing at a youth
group on Sunday night. We have to
find a way to practice. Oy vey.
I've been cleaning a lot, and packing stuff
up. I'm going to sell a lot of my stuff at
a garage sale to help with money. Considering
I want to be out of here by September for
internship. Ummm.. Not sure what else is up.
Mostly work, band practice, and church.
I've also made a lot of new friends. And that's
generally a good thing. I've got church tonight,
probably work tomorrow. Gotta pick up my new
schedule. If I don't work, G2 bible study Friday.
And church Saturday night. So yeah.
Rant;
Dear people at work, you should really do your work.
Instead of just saying you did it, you know? I would
never say this to you, because I'm far too nice and would
prefer to stay away from drama.. But it's really hard to
do prep, tea, and temps when there's a rush of people
coming to get subs. I kept running out of stuff. But that's
okay. I forgive you. I guess I needed the practice anyways.
Dear much older guys, why can I never have one of you as
a friend/brother? The ones that actually want to hang out
with me and talk to me end up liking me. Which is slightly
creepy, but whatever. It's rather depressing.
Dear teenage/young adult guys, I know some of you like me.
And that's fine. All I'm saying is, it's a bad idea. I've hardly any
time for a relationship right now, nor the patience to deal with
immaturity and drama. I can't be to blame if you fall for me.
I'm unattainable at this point in time, so please do back off a little.
We can be friends, but nothing more for now.
Thanks;
God, I've been an absolute idiot. Letting ministry and
all that stuff become more important than my relationship
with You. It's not that it became so important, it's just I let
it take away from my time with You because I'm so busy.
Thank You for still blessing me ridiculously through all of
this, and for having patience with me. You're my hero,
my best friend, my man, and the only one I'll ever need.
Just, thank You.
Mom, you've been an absolute nag. Not going to lie.
Though you'll never read or know this, I just need to
get it out. You say my attitude sucks, and that I suck
at being a Christian. But you're never home to know
how I really am. All I get from you is constant yelling
when we're both home at the same time. If I try to be
quiet and gentle, you yell at me because apparently to
you, yelling is needed. I don't see why, it doesn't get your
point across anymore. It just makes me sad, and not to
mention frustrated. When you said that I suck at being
a Christian, I literally died inside. All my friends and leaders
say it's not true. They don't see how you could say such a
thing. It's just because you don't know the real me. I'm doing
my best. But if you think I suck, I guess I'll just have to prove
you wrong. And that's what I'll do. Thanks for giving me the
inspiration to do better. Even if it was in an awful way.
Louis, thanks for staying in church. Thank you for being encouraged
by the words Jordan, Beatty, and I said to you. God's got great
plans for you, and we will not let Satan screw em up. Kick the devils
teeth in, and get out there and do big things for God!
Myself, thank you for being strong. And for learning to be more patient,
and tolerant with people. I didn't know it was possible to be more
tolerant, but apparently it is. Thank you for surviving even when I only
let you get two hours of sleep before work, church, or just a long day.
Thank you for never giving up.
-Ms. Conduit.
I love you all ♥
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