It's as simple as something,that nobody knows...

I'll admit,I got a little over-emo acting last night in my posts.
If that was even last night?It feels like forever ago.
Today is somewhat better,but I've got a heck of a lot on my mind.
It's rant time.

Friends.
Everyone's got them,
whether you're popular or not.
No matter who you are,
you've got friends.
What is a true friend though?
Someone loving who stands
by your side no matter what of course.
Someone who you can trust with
everything.
Someone who won't judge you
because of that fact.
I thought I had some
pretty darn good friends.
But it's not like it used to be.
My phone isn't ringing off the hook
anymore.
I don't have a true best friend.
I have a few friends,who
are the best.
(I love you guys)
But no one to call my best friend.
It just seems like there's
no one close enough,
no one who has seen me at my worst.
I'm not sure anyone would
even love me if they saw me that
way.
See what I mean?
No best friend.
*sigh*
God will send someone eventually.
The question is,
when?

Single-osity.

Or whatever you might call it.
7 months of it for me.
I've enjoyed it greatly,
focusing on God.
Getting ahead in school.
Writing songs.
Learning to play guitar.
Just getting to know people.
But now,
I have no one to write songs about.
No one to focus on God with me.
No one to be proud of the fact,
that I'm doing so good.
No one to listen to my songs
over the phone,
or anywhere.
It's not that I don't
like being single.
I just like the idea,
of having someone in my corner,
to share my life with.
I mean,I'm not
complaining by any means.
It's probably just the fact
that Valentines day is
so close,that this is bothering me.
I just...don't know sometimes.
I could probably
do better,with someone by
my side.

I could really just use
an adventure.
I've had it with the mundane.
I'm tired of going through
the motions.
Lets do something different
for a change.
But whatever shall we do?
I just don't get it.
Things repeat themselves over
and over.
I write and read so much,
for a mini adventure.
But it's not reality.
I want something real.
Vacation is sounding
better and better.
But I'm highly
doubting that
I'll go on one anytime
soon.
If ever.
I guess I just need
to get out of the house.
Or something.

I wanna feel Alive.

-Ms. Conduit